The One Where We See Hannah Pray on TV, We Lose Justin and He Calls Us Out

22 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

We really enjoyed our last LIVE Blogging experience. We thought you did too! In fact, expect to see more LIVE Blogging in the future. Please, love us through it. AND GO…………

Lula is online.

Jane: myello

Sent at 7:58 PM on Tuesday

Lula: PURPLE, YO

i am here

Jane: And Olivia starts us out with some “pot stirring”

What on earth?

Lula: she should stir the pot–she’s the CHEF

Olivia now has on a Lab Coat and is Blond. Don't ask.

Jane:  4 Teams???

Oh duh! That is right. I didn’t like the other way that could have gone re: stiring the pot. Thanks for your guidance always Lula

Ohh Hannah Banana…..Love you babe

Lula:  I am nervous.

Jane:  This must be so hard for them….I mean how do you pick away from your friends

Lula:  wait–are we live blogging here–I just wanna be clear

Jane:  duhhhh 

Nervous like whoah…PS is that how you spell whoah?

Lula: whoa

Jane:  Thanks! Listen I WILL BE WITH BOB for whatever!

I mean whatever

Lula:  “Bob is Tongan.” No, BOB IS HOT.

Jane:  What are they calling him Tongen? I need to look that one up and I was an Anthropology minor in College. Oh Irene, Lucky Duck

Lula:  Tongan. Something about Hawaiians or something. We should Google that before we embarrass ourselves.

Jane:  OLIVIA!!!

Lula:  And JILLIAN is gonna beat the SHIT out of Rulon. Like we always knew she would.

Jane:  Don’t say Shizz

Lula:  Of course Olivia is with HER PEOPLE, aka Bob.

Sorry. Shiz.

Jane:  Olivia and Hannah make me teary…….what is new

Lula:  ‘Member that time Olivia wrote me from the Ranch and was all, “Bob is our people?” He is so our people.

Jane:  Thank goodness she gets Jillian! “I will be coming to you shortly”

Lula:  And then Hannah prays on TV and we love her forever. She is COMING HOME, Lordy.

Jane:  Oh Courtney. I love you. I wish you had Jill with Hannah

Dramatic musak

Lula:  This musak is LAME.com <http://LAME.com>

Jane:  YES

Lula:  COOOOOL. Jillian is down.

Jane:  Hannah is with Rulon and I don’t know how I feel. I like that she is with Jill–ian but, not sure about the Rulon bizzness.

Lula:  is Jen on Bret’s team? she is, right?

Jane:  YES. It’s gonna get real

I love that tweet that Hannah just responded to us. Awesome. YEAHHH Daddy Jay or Arthur

Lula:  I feel that Roulon is not Hannah’s people. I wrote back to Hannah just now. Win.

Jane:  I may or may not agree with that….but we shall see. Oh I love Bob waying in.

I mean opinion wise.  Hannah is the biggest angel. DO that right thing. Bless it!

Lula:  DUH. It’s Jay.

also–how hard are we gonna cry when Jillian peaces out at the end of this season?

HARD, that’s how.

Jane:  WORD Jillian gave it away on FB. Silly Jillian

Lula:  But we love her. Even though she showed Jay on FB. With the lobster. OR crab. whatever that thing was.

Jane:  Oh I love her. I hope I get to see Jillian in real life one day…ahem

CRUNCH!  Where is Brody Jenner?  (NOTE: I have a Brody Jenner problem, but I am #TEAMBROVIL)

Look at that girl GO!!

Lula:  BWAHAHAHA. he is with Avril Lavigne.

Jane:  He is! I am team #Brovil

Poor Moses, I feel for him. He is struggling but he is going to get a work out

The cheering is GREAT!

Lula:  They are calling for him like that red sea is gonna part.

Jane:  They ARE! And I would be crying if I was in that class right now…And I don’t cry

Also crying because we could see Olivia.

Lula:  You will cry. At the end of all this, you will SOB YOUR HEAD OFF.

Even the Crunch Hand is Team Purple

Jane:  I wish I could go to CRUNCH this week. Also, just to see BOB. That spinning looks fab fun, but hard

Lula:  I would spin my life away just to see him. yeah, I said it.

Jane:  Look at how HOT Hannah is!!

Lula:  Look, Jillian’s beach house.

Jane:  BEACH house is NICE

Lula: SCARLETT O’HANNAH!

Jane: OK so Beks is calling me. STOP CALLING ME BEKS!

The Purple Team Show is on

Lula:  She is crazy. Hannah is all ARE YOU ON CRACK?

I heart her.

Jane:  I know CRACK. CRACK KILLS. They still have those ugly water bottles.

Lula:  FUGLY water bottles.

Jane:  Gosh I hope they have sunscreen on

Lula:  At this point, even black would rock.

Jane:  Pale gurls worry

Lula:  And bless you–SUNSCREEN. Mama Jane.

Jane:  LORD Have mercy!  I told you CRACK KILLS. This is making me feel uncomfortable

Lula:  CRACK KILLS.

Jane:  He is throwing and pulling those girls around

Lula:  and he’s all, “Jillian is riding me.” Lawsy, what a TWSS.

Jane:  How awesome it is to run on MALIBU! NOW maybe she will actually see Brody Jenner!!

Hannah, Did you see this man while running in Malibu?

Again, NOTE – I may be obsessed with Brody Jenner, in a jokesy kind of way….but why not?

I love Jillian’s glasses

Lula:  I’m obsessed with Jason Statham. And Alexander Skarsgard. WHY NOT?

Jane:  I am kind of ignoring his heart to heart

Lula:  ‘Member that time Olivia signed her email “Olivia Skarsgard Northman” and we died and loved her longtime?

Jane:  It’s about Worthiness….good message. OH my gosh, I forgot about that OSN sign off

Lula:  I am also ignoring it and walking down memory lane. Because Olivia + HotAlex > than Roulon’s pep talk.

Jane:  You know indeed. Did they lose Hannah? 

Lula:  Hannah was all, “Peace out–gotta get my run on while y’all are being all Hallmark Gold Crown Store.”

Jane:  Totally, she was like, I am gonna find me a hot malibu surfer guy. See ya’ll!

I wish the camera went with Hannah…..No BOB, Jill, Hannah, or Olivia

What do we do now?

Lula:  I’m gonna drink some wine. To be honest.

Jane:  I love that Courtney is happy to be outside

Lula:  it’s antioxidants and good for your cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.

(NOTE – for some reason I ignore that Lula is getting her drink on)

Jane:  Are they meditating? This is ummmmmmmmmmmmm interesting

Lula:  IT IS GOD’s NATURE, LAME-O.

Sigh. Go hug a tree, Brett. #I’mMean

Jane:  She is always so positive. Bless Courtney and she lost her mom last week!

Jen is so beautiful

Lula:  Jen is looking AWESOME. All the girls this season are really beautiful.

And then there's Justin

Jane:  And then there’s Justin

Lula:  And I’m not gonna say, “They have pretty faces.” NO THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL, ALL OVER.

OMS, “And then there’s Justin.” YEEEEEEE-HAW. Justin. Bless him.

Jane:  They are, I agree. Esp their attitudes.

Lula: (I love you, Janet.) YOU MADE HIM CRY! You done made Justin cry, Jane Trigs.

Jane:  I am special! I wonder how much his facial hair ways…weighs

Lula:  MEAN. But…good point. Also, Brett has chin pubes. He needs to stop with that.

Jane:  More realistic then mean. :)

Lula:  NO. NO group hug.

Jane:  Are we advertising now? No Jillian

Lula:  Oh, dear. Commercial. ROULON is talking about being warm inside. I CANNOT SPEAK OF THIS.

Jane:  Well at least she seemed natural. I ignored it.

Jane:  Now, we have Cara………..

Oh but Papa Jay is back

We’ll wait for that

OK, watching Cara does not make me want to box, like the spinning with BOB makes me want to spin

Also BOB should always be in ALL CAPS

Lula:  BOB.

I use this pic of BOB like I used to use the Shower HOTAlex Gif

Like the rapper. But he’s BoB. So BOB can be BOB. He’s the original Robert.

Jane:  This is boring and it’s boxing. I am sorry

Lula:  The boxing is lame.

THIS IS NOT COMPELLING TELEVISION.

Jane:  And it’s boxing which says something, doesn’t it?

Lula:  I mean, don’t they know all we care about is Olivia and BOB and Hannah and Jillian?

And Sami Brady?

Dude.

Dude, Cara. I cannot even grow to love her. Why is that?

Jane:  What do the others do while one person is boxing? Each ice cream?

That was EAT not EACH

Commercial time

Lula:  it’s also a good time to potty. be right back.

Sent at 8:40 PM on Tuesday

Jane:  Can I just say that the NEWS lead in I just heard said, “A Surprise from the East Coast Rapist.” Ohhh Scary….don’t make that sound happy newscaster!

CHALLENGE TIME ya’ll

Lula:  Don’t discuss east coast rapists–we just got @_Freya on our side of the country

Jane:  Surprise, it’s Jay! (not the east coast rapist)

Oh that is right and we LOVE @_Freya

Lula:  HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Yay. Jay.

that rhumes

Rhymes.

Jane:  Yay Jay is RIGHT! He looks amazing.

Jay has immunity. Not sure why

Lula:  Because Jay is awesome. I guess?

Jane:  This is a strength thing I guess. I cannot figure out any of these challenges until they start happening

Lula:  Me, either. It’s like watching Lost. WHO KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON?

Related: I miss Lost.

Jane:  No one knows anything and they have to wear goggles!

Also, this may be boring again

Lula:  I like Sami Brady’s coat. It’s very Sami Brady of her.

Jane:  Do you have a FF button?

Lula:  Austin needs a new HAIR DID.

I do have a FF button. But I’m watching live–so there’s nothing to FF.

Jane:  Darn

Maybe we can play words with friends or something

Lula:  Hahahahaha…I haven’t played WWF in months. Last game I had going was with Bekah–like, in October. I fail.

Jane:  FIERCE BATTLE

FIERCE

Lula:  FIER-US, says Justin.

Jane:  I couldn’t spell well enough for WWF

Lula:  A DOG FIGHT

Jane:  “Better n that”. His “Coaching” would annoy me.  But it looked like it worked. Go RED TEAM!

The Red TEAM IS AMAZING! Ohhh how wonderful! I LOVE THIS.

Courtney called Ben, Benny boy!

I love that

Lula:  Awww like the parents. OK, this is how parents act–SELFLESSLY.

Jane:  Oh dammit tears and it’s half way through the show. I love seeing Ben!

(Apparently we are watching very very intently and not typing)

Jane:  Oh Ben!! Be strong for you. He is Amazing.

Lula:  I am crying

Jane:  I can tell

Lula:  Ben has a pastor’s heart–he is so encouraging.

Jane:  He is

I could hear him preaching that on a Sunday. So inspiring.

Look at how presc Moses’ daughter is

Moses stand tuff!

Lula:  Moses’ fam is precious.

His wife is lovely.

Jane:  Oh baby girl. Sooo cute.

These comments are amazing by the way

“I’m crying” “How precious”

We are so inciteful

Lula:  here’s an amazing comment:

I HAVE TO PEE! Again

Jane:  OH no……go gogo

Lula:  OK, back.

will work on my insightfulness.

i just made that word up.

Jane:  I add ness on lots of words, in case you didn’t know, which you do know

Lula:  Lawsy–are you seeing this commercial for The Voice?

Xtina needs to be on The Biggest Loser.

Jane:  My gym has Cybex

Lula:  (I AM SO MEAN.)

Jane:  I know…she needs to be on The BL

OK she doesn’t, I DO. SOrry I was mean

Switching up training is good

Lula:  OK, I don’t even think Brett is cute. I mean–he ain’t no BOB.

Jane:  I did the 1st week, but now he looks weathered

No one can be BOB

Rope Juggles

Rope Juggling

I am gonna go to my gym and ask to juggle ropes

Lula:  “He looks weathered.” Girl…that is awesome.

JUGGLING ROPES IS THE WORLD’S GREATEST WORKOUT.

Jane:  Ugly bottles

Bob and Jill train together STILL

That’s right. But Rulon gets the mad training

Lula:  Bob & Jillian are lovers. But not in that way–you know what I mean?

Jane:  They are common souls

I love them

Lula:  They are old souls

Look at them. BFF!!!!!!

Jane:  That’s what I meant…thanks

Kaylee looks like she is dancing a bit. But I am glad Kaylee had a moment

Lula:  OK, Kaylee is cute and all. But I don’t care about her moment.

Jane:  I care about her moment more than Justin’s

Lula:  This is like watching a Lifetime Television for Women movie. A lot of fluff with no real substance.

Jane:  We are MEAN….but NBC wants us not to like them

EXACTLY

Jane:  NBC is TOTALLY editing it this way. It’s not our fault.

Thank God Olivia & Hannah are the heroes.

Jane:  I know, right

I love easter

Just thought I’d say that.

Lula:  I love Easter. Because at church we sing, “Low, in the grave He lay…”

Jane:  I like the “Old Rugged Cross”

(clearly we digress)

Lula: which I love…”Up from the grave He arose (He arose), with a mighty triumph o’er His foes…”

Jane:  Listen to us…..Or read us

Lula:  I also love The Old Rugged Cross. The lyrics to that are engraved on my Papaw’s tombstone.

Jane:  Awwww that is sweet.

Lula:  Also, LISTEN TO US. Also, Olivia & Ben would love this because WE ARE THEIR PEOPLE.

Don’t think Olivia hasn’t been clinging to the Old Rugged Cross during her time at the BL Ranch. GIrl, she has.

Jane:  And with that, why are they all in wife beaters?

Lula: olivia looks really good in blue. but i miss the purple.

Jane:  So does Sami apparently. Purple rules! So the gals have some braids on their heads. Notice?

JAY!! Yeah. We like that your name rhymes Hanhah Bear!

Wait I spelled that wrong…what eber

I am so excited about this weigh in that I am more mistyping  (Yup, that is my excuse)

They are rocking that purple eye shadow aren’t they?

Cara don’t look at Jillian like that

Sami has mad jewelry on

MAD like BOB

Lula:  I like Sami’s shoes.

Jane:  And BL Blog also noticed their hair. Adorable

Lula:  They are very DAYS-worthy.

Jane:  I love Jen from BLog

Totally Days – worthy

Moses poor guy

Lula:  Jen wants to meet us–did I tell you that?

Jane:  IRENE!

yes, I saw that somewhere maybe in our in box

Lula:  Also—she worked in my hometown–well, 15 min from my hometown, at the local newspaper.

Jane:  for the twitter

She seems very nice

IRENE rules

Lula:  she’s covered football games at my alma mater. so of course i love me some Jen.

and irene amazes me.

GOOD FOR HER.

Jane:  By the way, wear are the sports bras?

where??

Lula:  BEN AGAIN!

Jane:  ohhh Ben!

Lula:  Oh, Lordy. I will cry again.

Jane:  SHE IS SOOOOOOO HOT

Lula:  I like the tank tops better than those lame sports bras.

LOOK AT OLIVIA.

Jane:  KNow what?

Lula:  EFF THAT! WHY DO THEY ALWAYS GO TO COMMERCIAL ON OBIRD?

Jane:  The wife beater tank tops are sooo much better than the sports bras.

You know who would approve of them?

Sayid And HOTALEX

Sayid loves him some wife beaters!

Lula:  OMS! SAYID! Our Iraqi Ninja!

Oh, man. Sayid would be down with some Obird in a wife beater.

Jane:  And Hannah

SOOO EXCITING!

5 lbs is amazing

Lula:  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES YES YES!!!!!!!!

Jane:  SOOOOOOO EXCITING

You go GURL

Lula:  See, it took a pep talk from Ben and all that prayer from us.

Jane:  No WALLS!

I love that they call her OB

Ben is the bestest at pep talking, me thinks I need to remember that for in the future

YES!! Jen did good too! She is so HOT

Lula:  Jen is looking great!

Jane:  I am so jealous. These ladies are amazing

Court’s make-up is adorable

Deep Breaths!

Good JOB COURT!  Justin Lost almost nothing Oh No

Lula:  Is there some gameplay going on here. wtf?

Jane: Green team. OK the green team is throwing it. WHAT? DUMB

Lula:  WHY DOES SHE KEEP SAYNG SHE”S READY TO GO HOME.

WTF?

Jane:  WHAH? So dumb

Did Kaylee throw it? What is all these low numbers? Not from our girls of course but the others

Why do people want to go home….I hate this. It is ridiculous

Lula:  I don’t know.

Jane:  What do you think is going on? This shizz is crazy. That man lost 7lbs and everyone else so little. What the?

Lula:  I also miss Arthur at weigh ins.

Jane:  Me too!

Lula:  WHAT THE EFF? Something is lame.

Jane:  Arthurs ups and downs and sincere face made you want to watch. Ahem….un like some lame people

Lula:  Sigh…lame.

Jane:  We saw this 7lb loss a minute ago, why show it again? Kaylee had a plan and no one cares. LAME silly

Lula:  Cara’s eyes just got so big. Brett calls the GAME PLAY.

Jane:  GO SAMI! “This is not a prison.”

BLESS YOU

Sami gave them her "This just got real face".

Lula:  Sami Brady broke out her years of soap opera training.

Not home training. Soap opera training.

WORD

Jane:  YES she did. THAT WAS AMAZING. Sami I love you forever

Game play is ridiculous. OH CRAP

Lula:  THIS IS STRAIGHT UP CRAY CRAY.

Jane:  NOT COURT!

Lula:  OK, so this is nutty.

Jane:  Justin should go

Girls cannot go not girls! THIS PISSES ME OFF.

Lula:  GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!

we sound like that Motley Crue song.

Awesome. And…perverted.

Jane:  Ahhh Motley Crew

I mean Crue, oh you know I can’t spell. I wish we could have a song playing on our blog while reading it

I’ll add a video…Even if it seems silly

Lula:  I love me some MOtley Crue. and that song–Girls, Girls, Girls–is on my badass playlist. It has motorcycles sampled in it. WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE?

Jane:  Who doesn’t and only O and Hannah will know who we’re talking about….okay and Lisa

Is BOB gonna be on that cruise? Cause I’d go

Lula:  Because we are each other’s people?

Jane:  Oh no, I don’t want to cry.

Lula:  Hey, let’s cruise the big, wide sea with BOB.

Jane:  Please I hope this isn’t gonna make me be all broken down….oh Courtney is selfless

Bless Courtney. Oh Hannah, I love your comments you are right, this must be so hard to do

I love you Olivia you’re so insightful.  This is crazy difficult for them you can see.

Lula:  DUDE–HIS PEEPS ARE TURNING ON HIM. So much for all that “family” stuff.

Jane:  No they are not they are honoring him I think

Lula:  they are.

i get it. but they shoulda honored Arthur.

Jane:  Yes they shoulda

This is not as emotional as I thought, I am happy they are following him and his wishes

Lula:  this weight in is lame.

Jane:  It is kind of. The mama went home last week and now the papa

Both Captains.

Get along little doggie, Justin

I love the transformations part!

Lula:  Yes–good call–both captains are now gone.

Jane:  LULA he’s calling us out! GET UP or not

NBC wants us to like him now, don’t kow if I am foolled

He looks REAL GOOD

He has his own business now. Amazing

Lula:  he better not be telling me to get out of bed and put down the wine.

Jane:  ROPE JUGGLING

Lula:  cause i am having my antioxidants now.

Jane:  Aww Kody is adorable

Aww shucks, Family time. Take a SHOT!

He's calling us out with his "Dungeons" or "Dragons" font. Thank you, TWP.

Bless you and your Calling out Justin

Lula:  SHOT!

Jane:  WOW….they are videoed. YIKES!

Anyhow, until next week.

I am sighing out….Love you H and O

Lula:  LOVE YOU.

Jane:  Love you Lula

Lula:  Glad there wasn’t too much dramz.

whew.

Jane:  PEACE

Lula:  LOVE, PEACE, and NO CHICKEN GREASE.

xoxo,

Jane and Lula

One Response to “The One Where We See Hannah Pray on TV, We Lose Justin and He Calls Us Out”

  1. Lula April 5, 2011 at 12:10 pm #

    I feel that anytime we work in a reference to Lost, Sayid loving wife beaters, & loving shirtless pics of BOB like we love that shower gif of HotAlex that it’s a great post. I also feel that we rule. Even if no one else thinks we do.

    P.S. Freya will think we rule–because of that time we discussed the East Coast rapist & thought of her. Ahem.

    TEAM PURPLE RULES!!!!! And by Team Purple, I mean Hannah & Olivia. Duh.

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