You gotta get your burn, and the Others return to the Ranch

1 Feb

Dear Team Purple:

No, I'm not offereing free advertising so you'll send me there, nope, not all.

So after weeks of pitching the “others” over at the Malibu Fitness Ridge, we get to see the trainers who train the others, Cara, a New Yorker, sounding a bit Rosie Perez-esq and Brett who is easy on the eyes, but clearly no Bob Harper. The two trainers were certainly nothing to hold as a mystery for all this time, NBC. They’re not ex Biggest Loser trainers, not famous Ex Biggest Loser contestants, or any other famous people. They were just, you know…trainers.

So having met the trainers, we get to see more of their training style, which seems to consist of rope juggling, calisthenics, and boxing training….interesting, but nothing we haven’t seen Bob and Jillian do in the past really. Again, why the secret? Were they kept under wraps in the hopes that Cara would learn better make-up tips before you reveal her to the world? (Yes, I went there, I am sorry, even I know too much under eye cover-up is a bad move). Or was it to cerate drama? Well, we all know the answer and drama shmama, I’m moving on.

But before moving on, we have to watch the others train some. Apparently, Q from the red team is annoyed that sitting around and cheering on his teammates while they box, is not “getting him his burn.” Q walks away to try and find some more exercises to go through. While I can’t blame him for not wanting to stand around and watch others exercise, instead of getting his “burn” perhaps he shouldn’t have handled his annoyance with the teamwork/cheering each other on, training session that Cara was employing that day so childishly, but enough about the others. Bad attitudes and make-up, I’m bored.

Back at the ranch (yes, I get to write it out this week) we see all of Team Billian’s folks working it. Bob takes out some folks, mainly Dan or is it Don, whomever of the 2 is remaining, Jesse and some others to run his circuit. They are pushing it hard and not taking names.

Next we go into the gym to see more of Team Jillian, including you ladies, TEAM PURPLE! Jillian describes a little of the fear she sees in Hannah as she does certain back exercises and we hear a little bit about, you Hannah and who you were in the earlier 90’s. God Bless the 90’s. Thankfully, you didn’t have the big hair like I did and you were instead, a cute, smily thing who rocked at volley ball. They showed us several of your awesome serving shots and a magazine page with your picture. You explained your story of the accident and how your disks in your back were in pieces. Sooo sad. Several of my new Twitter friends agreed while watching this show and said that they really empathized with you and your struggle with weight loss post a serious injury. Luckily…..JILLIAN TO THE RESCUE.

Totally NOT Hannah but shows another awesome backbend. A way cute kid though, right?

Jillian, having recognized your struggles, sees that she has to show you that you are strong and your body is healed. And in a move that any simple grade schooler can do, she changed your life. I love it. In tears we all tweet how proud we are of you and your back bend. We see it in Olivia’s appreciative smile to Jillian and the tears in her eyes. It shows how much this means to you and to her. AMAZING. With that, I could turn off the show for the week. I am done!

Alright, I am not…..but I could be. That’s how amazing it is. Last Chance work out amazement!

Time now for the weigh-in we didn’t get last week, due to the Obama-thon. Sami Brady is in a pinstripe number with some crazy details. But forget that, the green team returns from their time with the others. They whole heartedly agree they chose correctly with sticking with Team Billian. Well, we know that….but glad someone else sees. Ummm Good Luck others, learning how to prepare your own foods.  Bob and Jillian exchange Oh SH&#, WTF! looks. And it’s time to weigh-in.

With their different workouts over with, the others and the green team pull some good numbers. On and on we go, blue weight loss is lame, Courtney screams confidence, commercials leave you hanging, you ladies cheer with all your hearts, the scale number beeps and beeps, and of course, you Hannah gave us a very memorable speech, we all have tears, EVEN JILLIAN GETS CHOKED UP! EVEN JILLIAN. According to the twitter BL veterans I tweet with, that never happens. GO HANNAH BANANA!

Oh wait, there is more. Irene and Don or Dan whomever, have their moment and it was a thrown weigh in that Irene admits to–FINALLY! Don/Dan whomever goes home. Best part is your face, Olivia. You give the “Home Alone” face. It’s used in lots of promo pics because of it’s greatness, and your beauty, clearly. Anyhow, they vote him off right then. Drama Shmama…..moving on.

Side note – I took forever to write this blog because it bugs me so much. Lula said we were not blogging due to the black teams, black out…or whatever you want to call their behavior. Whatever.

 With added Drama of course, we have the others returning to the ranch. Crazy times. Sami is adorable in her red rain coat while she announces the unknowns arrival. You girls give all of us the run down of how each person has changed. Bless you Hannah, you say regarding Rulon, “His head is smaller”. Which to us means something maybe different from you, but you’ll soon figure it out. On and on, you ladies give assessments of the others with your fellow teammates.

Everyone is excited, nervous, and ready for the joining of the teams. Sami explains that if the Ranchers lose more than 48lbs they will get immunity. Exciting! The others get to experience the yellow line for the first time. No Sami challenge. Everyone heads to the gym.

Brett and Cara walk up to the Biggest Loser gym and so begins the show down. What I want is for Jillian to say, “welcome to MY gym.” It doesn’t happen. We get the life story and what ever for the new trainers again. Bless Brett and his “pre-med”. Anyhow….it is weird to see both groups together. Rulon broke a treadmill….is that a good or bad thing? Who knows? Brett says “Thank you” a lot. It’s odd, what trainer says “thank you”? Whatever, two things, the “others” are loud and afraid of the yellow line, and two, it starts to make me feel bored. Of course, Bob and Jillian are not there yet. PS is Cara wearing jeggings? honey no.

So next is some silly challenge. Sami is wearing the most ridiculous color pattern scheme ever. Sami explains that the others will be competing against one another. Now, as Rulon says it is a competition between their “family”. Who ever wins this challenge gets immunity for the week. Guess we’ll see how much of a “family” helps each other out now…..except this challenge involves running and stacking weights and it’s pretty boring so anyhow, of course Rulon and Justin win because sometimes your “family” means all for yourself.

The non-showdown, showdown, a la BD style

NOW, stuff gets REAL. Jillian and Bob show up at the gym and remind their group about how much weight they need to lose. It’s last chance work out time and it is crazy. They run with medicine balls use weights, do jumping jacks and junk. These people are killing it. They talk the talk and say “They will have immunity this week!”. Olivia says, “It’s as Good as Money in the Bank'”. And you know what…..I believe you!  And of course, Arthur has more complaining time, with the same old story and Jillian makes the ladies carry her around the gym. Jillian wants their BEST all the time, dammit!

It’s weigh in #2 for this show. The others are a bit scurred. As Justin, explains, “one of their “family” will be leaving this week”, while the Ranchers have to lose 49lbs and they all will when immunity. Goodness, Sami has the craziest jacket on, that I can’t even discuss. The Ranchers get to go first. Irene is nervous due to her plus from last week. She loses 8lbs! The Ranchers Cheer loud. I love it. The “green beans” are next….and America gets excited that we get to hear all the team’s nick names. Ya’ll are the Squirrelies. Too cute! You get weighed in and lose 11 lbs between you both. Things are looking good for the Ranchers already. Marci then introduces America to the term “One-derland” meaning you get down to the 100’s. Exciting as all hell. Ladies, I can’t wait until I get to Onederland too! Finally, blue gets to bring it home. They need only lose that one pound. Annnnnndddd of course they did!

Now, it’s the Others time to weigh in. They pull some big double-digit numbers that makes me hate them even more. Dammit NBC for using this dueling team thing for making me hate the others. However, there’s always one in the bunch. The red team  loses 24 lbs pounds which sounds amazing but not compared to the other teams that week. And so it goes. With Q’s questionable childish behavior this week, and the overall feeling that the Others have regarding Q’s low motivation, it is clear who should be sent home…..however, the others respect the Red’s Team’s wishes and send home Larilmy. Of course, first Justin makes Q promise his wife he will try harder. Who is this Justin guy….I mean I get some of his point, but really?

We see the transformations of Dan/Don and Larlimy. Larlimy has her whole family working out with her. You go girl! She looks great. Don and Dan are reunited again, and we see him with his family. Yes, his son seems like a douche, just like we thought he would. But you know, sometimes you have to call a spade a spade.

Your Squirrelies, Mascot!

Well, thankfully, you two ladies are above the yellow line again! You have made it through another week. Hannah had an amazing week last week with the back bend that brought tears to our eyes. In other news, we met the trainers more and remain underwhelmed. Can’t wait to see what happens next week! Miss you ladies or, “you squirrelies” as I should say.

Wishing for a Trip to Onederland,

Jane and Lula


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