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HOP Movie Tie-In and Massages, Really?

29 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

Well, it’s obvious there is a theme going now….And now, more LIVE BLOGGING with Jane and Lula:

Lula is offline.

Jane:  Here we are!

Alrighty speak…let me here it

Is it bad that I am already bored?

We are all still one

I love Olivia’s talk about Sami

Lula: PURPLE, YO

Jane:  YEAH!! Olivia on my bday you found out that you were gonna be on the show, I remember.

Lula:  I was in Vegas!!!!

And she called and said, “I’M GOING TO THE BIGGEST LOSER!!!!!”

Jane:  My Bday

Lula:  It was your bday! ‘Member–I couldn’t come party cause of Vegas & O was headed to the Ranch. SADNESS.

I’m crying.

Jane:  These vids are awesome!

STOP CRYING not already

SHANANIGANS!

Yeeeahhh I ❤ shananigans

Jane:  How crazy that they are bringing in these people. CRAZY TIMES and the musak

Crazy

Lula:  The musak is DUMB.

Jane:  That one boy, Vance is a cutie

Lula:  And look how cute Olivia is.

OF COURSE HER NAME IS LEIGH ANNE.

She probably spells it wrong.

Jane: Hehehe But O is always cute

Awwwww wrong LA is a mama and so sweet

Lula:  Sami Brady is saying MY name.

Jane: You lucky duck. I want to be said on the BL

Maybe I can meet her one day and she’ll say my name.

I dig Vance’s deep voice

I wonder if they got trainers too.

Lula:  Let’s make it our life goal to get Sami Brady to say AUNT JANICE!

Jane:  Hey I lost almost 30lbs in 3 months

27lbs now

Court is such a flirt

I love it! Confidence

Lula:  You rock, Jane:. I’m so proud of you.

Jane: “Journeys”

Thanks babe!

Wowzer 45lbs is amazing

So this is the part where Sami makes Kaylee feel guilty

Lula:  We are CRACKING UP at you, Jane:–me and Heather.

And I am proud of Vance & Leann. They are losing weight at a “real life pace.”

Jane:  Yes, Real Life pace is hard like crazy

4 teams, ya’ll

Sami loves metaphor based challenges

Also they love challenges that cause everyone to have to say “Balls” the whole time. Yug

Week Off campus. Pooopers

How many challenges are we having this week?

Don’t leave the ranch O!

Olivia is amazing at this, Go girl

(I just typed a lot of nonsense – Jane)

Lula:  Balls.

Jane: Exactly

But notice Sami calls them “Points”

Lula:  I am DYINg at how small Courtney and Olivia and Hannah are.

Jane: OK, now I am bored, although it is nice seeing the skinny minis

JINX

10 balls…..

GO O!!! GO BLUE

Lula:  BALLS.

Blue Balls.

Jane:  Hahaha

Lula:  (Heheheh.)

(this is where we turned 10 years-old)

Jane:  YAYYY!! Not last.

Go Green

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm this is crapola. Where will Brett take them?

Awww they are going to do EASTER! I love EASTER

Back from commercial

Massage?

The Menu is crazy

AHHHH STRA TEE JURY

Lula:  THIS IS DUMB.

A massage? NO.

NO NO NO.

Jane:  Hahaha

Lula:  I mean, we all want a massage, but they are not out there for some pampering.

Jane:  This is silly, but I want to see how it plays out

Gym Memberships!

WHAAAA?? An hour to call people?

Luxery crap is silly.

They are excluding Brett cause who needs Rope Juggling?

Lula:  I just tweeted that. HELL NO. Heather and I are bothered.

Jane:  Rope Juggling can be done easily done without a trainer, duhhh

That was a silly sentence. GET YOUR CONFIDENCE COURT

Courtney should call Ben for confidence!

Lula:  They’re showing this FOR A REASON, Jane:. The shiz is gonna hit the fan. You wait.

Jane:  Yes, seriously

Lula:  Um….THEY BROUGHT THIS ON THEMSELVES.

Jane: Totally on themselves..even Brett says this is bad. Where is Jill? She would kick their ASS

Ohh I call Jillian Jill now, in honor of my mother

Court call BEN!

BEN breaks walls

  Continue reading

The One Where We See Hannah Pray on TV, We Lose Justin and He Calls Us Out

22 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

We really enjoyed our last LIVE Blogging experience. We thought you did too! In fact, expect to see more LIVE Blogging in the future. Please, love us through it. AND GO…………

Lula is online.

Jane: myello

Sent at 7:58 PM on Tuesday

Lula: PURPLE, YO

i am here

Jane: And Olivia starts us out with some “pot stirring”

What on earth?

Lula: she should stir the pot–she’s the CHEF

Olivia now has on a Lab Coat and is Blond. Don't ask.

Jane:  4 Teams???

Oh duh! That is right. I didn’t like the other way that could have gone re: stiring the pot. Thanks for your guidance always Lula

Ohh Hannah Banana…..Love you babe

Lula:  I am nervous.

Jane:  This must be so hard for them….I mean how do you pick away from your friends

Lula:  wait–are we live blogging here–I just wanna be clear

Jane:  duhhhh 

Nervous like whoah…PS is that how you spell whoah?

Lula: whoa

Jane:  Thanks! Listen I WILL BE WITH BOB for whatever!

I mean whatever

Lula:  “Bob is Tongan.” No, BOB IS HOT.

Jane:  What are they calling him Tongen? I need to look that one up and I was an Anthropology minor in College. Oh Irene, Lucky Duck

Lula:  Tongan. Something about Hawaiians or something. We should Google that before we embarrass ourselves.

Jane:  OLIVIA!!!

Lula:  And JILLIAN is gonna beat the SHIT out of Rulon. Like we always knew she would.

Jane:  Don’t say Shizz

Lula:  Of course Olivia is with HER PEOPLE, aka Bob.

Sorry. Shiz.

Jane:  Olivia and Hannah make me teary…….what is new

Lula:  ‘Member that time Olivia wrote me from the Ranch and was all, “Bob is our people?” He is so our people.

Jane:  Thank goodness she gets Jillian! “I will be coming to you shortly”

Lula:  And then Hannah prays on TV and we love her forever. She is COMING HOME, Lordy.

Jane:  Oh Courtney. I love you. I wish you had Jill with Hannah

Dramatic musak

Lula:  This musak is LAME.com <http://LAME.com>

Jane:  YES

Lula:  COOOOOL. Jillian is down.

Jane:  Hannah is with Rulon and I don’t know how I feel. I like that she is with Jill–ian but, not sure about the Rulon bizzness.

Lula:  is Jen on Bret’s team? she is, right?

Jane:  YES. It’s gonna get real

I love that tweet that Hannah just responded to us. Awesome. YEAHHH Daddy Jay or Arthur

Lula:  I feel that Roulon is not Hannah’s people. I wrote back to Hannah just now. Win.

Jane:  I may or may not agree with that….but we shall see. Oh I love Bob waying in.

I mean opinion wise.  Hannah is the biggest angel. DO that right thing. Bless it!

Lula:  DUH. It’s Jay.

also–how hard are we gonna cry when Jillian peaces out at the end of this season?

HARD, that’s how.

Jane:  WORD Jillian gave it away on FB. Silly Jillian

Lula:  But we love her. Even though she showed Jay on FB. With the lobster. OR crab. whatever that thing was.

Jane:  Oh I love her. I hope I get to see Jillian in real life one day…ahem

CRUNCH!  Where is Brody Jenner?  (NOTE: I have a Brody Jenner problem, but I am #TEAMBROVIL)

Look at that girl GO!!

Lula:  BWAHAHAHA. he is with Avril Lavigne.

Jane:  He is! I am team #Brovil

Poor Moses, I feel for him. He is struggling but he is going to get a work out

The cheering is GREAT!

Lula:  They are calling for him like that red sea is gonna part.

Jane:  They ARE! And I would be crying if I was in that class right now…And I don’t cry

Also crying because we could see Olivia.

Lula:  You will cry. At the end of all this, you will SOB YOUR HEAD OFF.

Even the Crunch Hand is Team Purple

Jane:  I wish I could go to CRUNCH this week. Also, just to see BOB. That spinning looks fab fun, but hard

Lula:  I would spin my life away just to see him. yeah, I said it.

Jane:  Look at how HOT Hannah is!!

Lula:  Look, Jillian’s beach house.

Jane:  BEACH house is NICE

Lula: SCARLETT O’HANNAH!

Jane: OK so Beks is calling me. STOP CALLING ME BEKS!

The Purple Team Show is on

Lula:  She is crazy. Hannah is all ARE YOU ON CRACK?

I heart her.

Jane:  I know CRACK. CRACK KILLS. They still have those ugly water bottles.

Lula:  FUGLY water bottles.

Jane:  Gosh I hope they have sunscreen on

Lula:  At this point, even black would rock.

Jane:  Pale gurls worry

Lula:  And bless you–SUNSCREEN. Mama Jane.

Jane:  LORD Have mercy!  I told you CRACK KILLS. This is making me feel uncomfortable

Lula:  CRACK KILLS.

Jane:  He is throwing and pulling those girls around

Lula:  and he’s all, “Jillian is riding me.” Lawsy, what a TWSS.

Jane:  How awesome it is to run on MALIBU! NOW maybe she will actually see Brody Jenner!!

Hannah, Did you see this man while running in Malibu?

Again, NOTE – I may be obsessed with Brody Jenner, in a jokesy kind of way….but why not?

I love Jillian’s glasses

Lula:  I’m obsessed with Jason Statham. And Alexander Skarsgard. WHY NOT?

Jane:  I am kind of ignoring his heart to heart

Lula:  ‘Member that time Olivia signed her email “Olivia Skarsgard Northman” and we died and loved her longtime?

Jane:  It’s about Worthiness….good message. OH my gosh, I forgot about that OSN sign off

Lula:  I am also ignoring it and walking down memory lane. Because Olivia + HotAlex > than Roulon’s pep talk.

Jane:  You know indeed. Did they lose Hannah? 

Lula:  Hannah was all, “Peace out–gotta get my run on while y’all are being all Hallmark Gold Crown Store.”

Jane:  Totally, she was like, I am gonna find me a hot malibu surfer guy. See ya’ll!

I wish the camera went with Hannah…..No BOB, Jill, Hannah, or Olivia

What do we do now?

Lula:  I’m gonna drink some wine. To be honest.

Jane:  I love that Courtney is happy to be outside

Lula:  it’s antioxidants and good for your cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.

(NOTE – for some reason I ignore that Lula is getting her drink on)

Jane:  Are they meditating? This is ummmmmmmmmmmmm interesting

Lula:  IT IS GOD’s NATURE, LAME-O.

Sigh. Go hug a tree, Brett. #I’mMean

Jane:  She is always so positive. Bless Courtney and she lost her mom last week!

Jen is so beautiful

Lula:  Jen is looking AWESOME. All the girls this season are really beautiful.

And then there's Justin

Jane:  And then there’s Justin

Lula:  And I’m not gonna say, “They have pretty faces.” NO THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL, ALL OVER.

OMS, “And then there’s Justin.” YEEEEEEE-HAW. Justin. Bless him.

Jane:  They are, I agree. Esp their attitudes.

Lula: (I love you, Janet.) YOU MADE HIM CRY! You done made Justin cry, Jane Trigs.

Jane:  I am special! I wonder how much his facial hair ways…weighs

Lula:  MEAN. But…good point. Also, Brett has chin pubes. He needs to stop with that.

Jane:  More realistic then mean. 🙂

Lula:  NO. NO group hug.

Jane:  Are we advertising now? No Jillian

Lula:  Oh, dear. Commercial. ROULON is talking about being warm inside. I CANNOT SPEAK OF THIS.

Jane:  Well at least she seemed natural. I ignored it.

Continue reading

NBC Wants Us to Not Like the Red Team, We Can’t Help It

9 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

In an effort to actually blog on time, our dearest Lula and I decided to LIVE Blog via GChat. We laughed together, we cried together, we prayed together, we screamed together, we made up stories together while bored (Red Team) and we compared ya’ll to LOST, as we should. Boy was this one a total nail biter. So very glad we made it through together. So at last, I bring you Random LIVE Blogging with Jane and Lula:

Jane:  And to begin

Hannah is amazing, but she needs to not argue with Jillian. Duh

Lula:  YES.

Jane:  Hannah you are capable!

4 reasons you do it

1) Tall and thin enough

2) Knowledge….what else?  I missed it…

Lula:  BECAUSE SHE’S SCARLETT O’HANNAH

I’m tweeting that.

 Jane:  that is it. And you know what Jill is right.  mean she does look aazing

that was amazing

Oh crap she’s making me want to get teary

I could watch the Hannah Banana show all seasn*  (*editor note – Jane is notorious for bad grammer and spelling. If it wasn’t in here, Olivia wouldn’t believe it was Jane)

 Lula:  She gon’ make me cry

 Jane:  How excited is it that Marci is now the captain? They needed a leader on that carebear team

I also think that I need to keep all bad spellings and grammer. That way Olivia will know it’s really me (*SEE)

Jane:  How much do I lovethat my Mama calls Jillian, Jill. Bless her heart. She called me as I was leaving work and she kept talking about “Jill”. Hhaha

OLIVIA!

Lula:  Look at her apron!

Jane:  Betty Crocker O

Lula:  BETTY CROCKER.

Jane:  They called her OB

Love it!

 Lula:  MAMA OLIVIA and her SIX GIRLS!  Bless it.

Jane:  Bless it. Hummus…I wants it

Spin Bike YES

Lula:  “WHAT WOULD A MOM DO?”  And now Obird is gonna make me cry.  Because we know.  WE KNOW.

I am screaming.  Please love me through it.

Jane:  She will be the greatst Mama, WE KNOW

Lula:  WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

See!  We KNOW!

WE KNOW THIS, JANET.  Oh, dear God.  Let’s just cry now.

(apparant crying ensues)

Jane:  Is it wrong that I want to yawn now?

Lula:  NO.  That they kept Kaylee (however you spell it) when she lost only 1 pound and sent Arthur home is RUDE.

(Marta just tweeted something awesome–we need to quote her.)* (* Never did find out what that was. LIVE blogging is fast)

Jane:  RUDE

I just told off Chris Weitz on Twitter. He tweets now Olivia and he kind of loses control. Doesn’t he know the Team Purple show is on?

I am a little bored still….”Family”

 Lula:  THE FAMILY STUFF IS LAME.COM <http://LAME.COM&gt;

 Jane:  Ewww Mud!

 Lula:  Also, Justin is NOT INSPIRING.

Jane:  NOT

I just said, “NOT” like that was a thoughtful comment

Ken is cooking?Hmmm

I forgot to eat lunch today, it sucks

I am hungry now.

I wonder if they use http://www.myfitnesspal.com like I do

Lula:  We had a BL supper–from the BL cookbook.

it was not so good, but hey–low calorie, low fat, LOW TASTE.  dangit.

Jane:  Was it Olivia nd not Ken based? Cause Olivia is Queen Cook

Not all the time…..Low clorie can be tasty! Really. But sometimes you get a bad one.

BURN

Gets my BURN

FREE ADVERTISING!! Now what do I get?

I type a bunch

Lula:  it was steamed brown rice (so boring) and steamed cut corn (no butter–lame) and chicken breast breaded with panko.  it was ok.  but not so tasty

Jane:  Why can’t they say when they went home? I mean some people know (and I am keepig this comment in)

It was during a hard time where people eat a lot people. I think i should be mentioned. But not by me

*it should be mentioned

Lula:  think what should be mentioned?

wait–confused.

Jane:  When the time at home was

During which period

CHALLENGE time

What does Sami have on?

Oh Sami…no

The hat!

Lula:  OH, SAMI. 

HALE NO.

That hat is ridiculous.  She knows better.  Marlena taught her better.

Jane:  What the heck are they gonna do with $6000 on campus

I don’t get the cash prize stuff while they are there

OK people Strateejury

Lula:  STRA TEE JURY.

Be right back–gotta kiss my girls.

Jane:  GO!

That’s right JEN. Red is NO victory

Lula:  back

Jane:  This is gross, and taking a while

Lula:  that is some GOO

and not GOO like our GOO

but goo like gross goo

Jane:  Gross GOO

I hope someone falls

DON’t Pannick

What on earth am I supposed to write

Lula:  “3 Foot Log”  TWSS

Jane:  OLIVIA “That Guy” YES!

That’s what we all think

Lula:  YES. i’ll tweet that. (The TWSS went completly over my head -Jane)

Jane:  Olivia sometimes it is difficult not to write things that are derogatory (sp?) to the Red Team

Love me through it…I just wanna cheer for you

BLACK WINS!

Lula:  WINNER WINNER LOW-FAT CHICKEN DINNER!

Jane:  New make-up with $6K

An executive chef?

Lula:  Think of all the MAC O and Hannah can buy with that money.

More FREE advertising, ahem

 Jane:  On what?

Ohh you said MAC, WAIT! That’s make-up I know that

Lula:  Yes–MAC.  It’s Olivia’s make-up of choice.  And Norah’s, too.

Jane:  <<— Make-up dumb

Oh wow! The Red Team WOW

I am glad I on’t have to love them

Poor Ken talking about snacks. Hey it’s Product Placment time!

Lula:  THESE COMMERCIALS ARE LAME

And the red team is…ah, I’ll be nice.

Jane:  So I think some of my vowels on my keyboard are sticking. It’s not just that I am a bad typer

Lula:  And be quiet.

Jane:  Although I can’t soell

Lula:  soell

ha!

Jane:  UGGHH

Continue reading

You gotta get your burn, and the Others return to the Ranch

1 Feb

Dear Team Purple:

No, I'm not offereing free advertising so you'll send me there, nope, not all.

So after weeks of pitching the “others” over at the Malibu Fitness Ridge, we get to see the trainers who train the others, Cara, a New Yorker, sounding a bit Rosie Perez-esq and Brett who is easy on the eyes, but clearly no Bob Harper. The two trainers were certainly nothing to hold as a mystery for all this time, NBC. They’re not ex Biggest Loser trainers, not famous Ex Biggest Loser contestants, or any other famous people. They were just, you know…trainers.

So having met the trainers, we get to see more of their training style, which seems to consist of rope juggling, calisthenics, and boxing training….interesting, but nothing we haven’t seen Bob and Jillian do in the past really. Again, why the secret? Were they kept under wraps in the hopes that Cara would learn better make-up tips before you reveal her to the world? (Yes, I went there, I am sorry, even I know too much under eye cover-up is a bad move). Or was it to cerate drama? Well, we all know the answer and drama shmama, I’m moving on.

But before moving on, we have to watch the others train some. Apparently, Q from the red team is annoyed that sitting around and cheering on his teammates while they box, is not “getting him his burn.” Q walks away to try and find some more exercises to go through. While I can’t blame him for not wanting to stand around and watch others exercise, instead of getting his “burn” perhaps he shouldn’t have handled his annoyance with the teamwork/cheering each other on, training session that Cara was employing that day so childishly, but enough about the others. Bad attitudes and make-up, I’m bored.

Back at the ranch (yes, I get to write it out this week) we see all of Team Billian’s folks working it. Bob takes out some folks, mainly Dan or is it Don, whomever of the 2 is remaining, Jesse and some others to run his circuit. They are pushing it hard and not taking names.

Next we go into the gym to see more of Team Jillian, including you ladies, TEAM PURPLE! Jillian describes a little of the fear she sees in Hannah as she does certain back exercises and we hear a little bit about, you Hannah and who you were in the earlier 90’s. God Bless the 90’s. Thankfully, you didn’t have the big hair like I did and you were instead, a cute, smily thing who rocked at volley ball. They showed us several of your awesome serving shots and a magazine page with your picture. You explained your story of the accident and how your disks in your back were in pieces. Sooo sad. Several of my new Twitter friends agreed while watching this show and said that they really empathized with you and your struggle with weight loss post a serious injury. Luckily…..JILLIAN TO THE RESCUE.

Totally NOT Hannah but shows another awesome backbend. A way cute kid though, right?

Jillian, having recognized your struggles, sees that she has to show you that you are strong and your body is healed. And in a move that any simple grade schooler can do, she changed your life. I love it. In tears we all tweet how proud we are of you and your back bend. We see it in Olivia’s appreciative smile to Jillian and the tears in her eyes. It shows how much this means to you and to her. AMAZING. With that, I could turn off the show for the week. I am done! Continue reading

The One Where America Learns of the Delicacy Known as Monkey Bread & “none of this stuff looks as good as a hot guy”

25 Jan

Dear Purple Team: 

After last week’s weigh-in debacle, with the Don and Dan drama, we are more than ready for this week’s challenges and excitement. However, unlike when LOST aired last year, Prez Obama did not postpone his SOTU address, in order to accommodate two hours of the Biggest Loser (or as Jane’s Mom calls it, “The Greatest Loser). Clearly, he has not gotten the memo about the Biggest Loser being the true LOST replacement. Totally annoying, but as many of our Twitterer watching partners pointed out, the one hour time frame did make the show move a little faster.

Nevertheless, we start off knowing the show will end an hour earlier and the various teams, other than you girls, attack Don for his manipulation of the scale. Bless our Hannah, who remains the only one of the group to ask, if there’s something she could do to help poor 9 lbs gaining, Don. By the way, what do you think he did to gain the 9lbs? I came up with several suggestions, like stuffing his shorts with sand, wearing 9lb glasses, or guzzling 9lbs of water before weighing in (can you even do that). Enough with the lameness, even though I am quite flummoxed by how the gaining occurred, we move on to the 1st day back in the gym and Sami Brady shows up.

Dharma Monkey Bread? Yes, please!

Sami has a special challenge for our teams and our purple ladies. She has a fully stocked locker of Dahrma food of all the player’s favorite foods. We have pizza, mac & cheese (from the box, yugggg), cheesecake, and alas–MONKEY BREAD!

Now if you’ve ever been any kind of good southern kitchen worth its weight in butter, you’ve had yourselves some monkey bread. Olivia, of course described its texture and deliciousness to Sami, because evidently they don’t make good homemade baked goods in Salem. But we’ll love her through it. And alas, Sami and the Biggest Loser watching world, now know the delicacy, Monkey Bread and all is right with the world.

Not to be out done by the glorious monkey bread our girls give us another one of the best quotes of the night, when they are locked into the “food pantry”. Just as Hannah starts to turn her head away from Olivia’s, to gaze at her favorite cheesecake, you dear Olivia stop her to say, “Does any of this look as good as a hot guy?” All of America screams, NO for you, Hannah. And you all pass your test hand in hand.

Feel the Love! Feel the Power!

No one thinks of eating not even Dan/Don or whoever. Until…….Arthur. If you had to guess from the beginning who might eat, I think we would have all guessed Arthur, I am sorry to say. Ohhh Arthur. Bless it.  At least it was just a chicken wing And now that he ate, Arthur has to choose which team to send over to the “Barracks” with the Orthers. For no rhyme or reason he choses the green team, father/daughter, Jay and Jen. Well, there it is and there they go. I am sad they have to leave their friends to go to the other team, but I can’t help thinking they’re getting a great advantage in gameplay.
 
Then I wrote a bunch of stuff here and it got erased and I cannot remember what I wrote. My computer hates me clearly. I do remember it had to do with how awesome Team Purple is, and how I liked the Courtney bonding time with her mom and how cushy the Others had it over at the “barracks”. But anyhow…..

Next there is a new challenge involving guessing the total amount of calories for 5 of the temptation challenge items. The calorie total has to be guessed then hoisted up a flag pole type device and a button is pressed that will blink green for correct and red for incorrect. The green team comes over from Team Otherton to be included for this challenge and has to compete by themselves vs the rest of their old Ranch mates. However, via an easier pulley system or something, the difficulty in hoisting the numbers is equalled out, you just have to guess the right carlorie total number. In this challenge, the winner will get mail from home and we all rejoice at home, hoping you’ll get our letters and cards!! Wahoooo.

The Ranchers vs Team Green begin. There’s screaming on the Ranchers and realize that the Green Team can hear them if they scream what numbers they choose next. Uh oh….team work isn’t the Ranchers strong suit as we’ve seen with that crazy raft challenge. Watching the wrong numbers being hoisted up and having to bring them back down again makes us feel the pain in your eyes. So frustrating! But excellent exercise!
 
So finally, our Rancher team, including you ladies get the calorie amounts correct and win the challenge. Letters explode overhead all over the Ranchers. I look to find the stuff I know that has been sent your way. Seeing your arms filled with mail, brightens my spirit. I know you feel loved. The producers let you, Olivia, read an excellent letter from dear Ben and our eyes (even Jane’s) tear up. Others read some mail as well, Arthur from his kids, Dan/Don from his not so nice son, and on. It’s awesome. What a great way to end the show!
Like I said, no weigh-ins tonight, no kicking off of anyone, no losing of anything or anyone, just loveing notes from home. It makes me feel all loving and toasty, just remembering. Until next week, where there are two weigh-ins, two people possibly being sent home, and the return of the Others to the ranch. We’re not alone anymore, ladies.               
                       
Hoping there’s room for eveyone at the table next week,
Janet and Lula
               
PS I heard Jillian say, “God Bless” this week. Bless her heart.

“It’s Never A Hot Tub.”

19 Jan

Dear Team Purple:

A theme emerged in episode three of Biggest Loser Season 11, and that’s “Live together, die alone.”  We also met the Others for the first time.

And you know any time we can work in a reference to Lost we are totally going to do it, because Jane, Lula, and our own Olivia (Team Purple!) still lament the loss of our beloved show. You are required to love us through it.  Thank you.

Team Purple, along with the rest of the peeps training with Bob & Jillian, proved the power of teamwork, while Cara and Ben Brett were finally revealed to the audience as The New Trainers, over at the Dharma camp Red Barn.  (Dun-dun-duuuuuuun.)  I like to call them “Those people who aren’t Trainer Bob & Jillian,” because let’s face it…that’s what the rest of you are calling them, too.

For the night’s first challenge we find Sami Brady nicely bundled & prepared for the rain, whereas Team Purple seems to be standing in it, sans umbrella.  OK, that’s just rude.  NBC, let’s find color-coordinated umbrellas for our Biggest Losers, shall we?   And then we have black vans, a bunch of smack talking (are we loving Courtney from the Aqua team?  We are.), the balancing of eggs on frying pans clearly purchased from Big Lots, and the winning of a prize:  lunch cooked by some dude named Curtis Stone.  Since I’m a Biggest Loser newbie the name Curtis Stone means nothing to me but Team Purple’s Hannah tells all of America, “God carved him from cream cheese.”  Fat-free cream cheese, right?  I mean, this is The Biggest Loser.

Team Aqua wins the challenge (yay, Marcy!), while The Others give it to Deni (Team Pink), which is nice of them.  I’m saddened for Team Purple, but then Trainer Bob’s Turbo Tax commercial comes on & I fire my CPA on the spot.

Meanwhile back at the Ranch (OK, y’all…cut me some slack!  It only took me 3 posts to use that phrase) we see Team Purple working it out like nobody’s business.  And because they’re so hard-working and beautiful Trainer Bob is all, “Let’s go outside to talk.”  Clearly Hannah & Olivia are Bob’s favorites and none of us are surprised by this news.

Then…I get on my knees for Bob Harper and love him more than I ever imagined possible because he is so unbelievably good to our girls.  Hannah & Olivia take turns sharing their stories with Bob (Olivia’s was not shown on air–but we have it here for you!) and as we cried along with them, Bob encouraged Team Purple to “find out what your new dreams are…it’s time to make a dream come true!“‘

Dream ladies, Dream!

The Biggest Loser – Ep 1103: Week 3 – Purple’s Worry – Video – NBC.com.

BOB FOR KING OF THE UNIVERSE.  Pass me a Kleenex, will you?

Marcy and Deni meet Curtis Stone and he cooks for them.  He also prepares the ladies a delicious, healthy lunch.  Also, Curtis Stone is not carved of fat-free cream cheese.  I said that before seeing him. Curtis Stone is full-fat Philadelphia cream cheese.

There’s also a challenge taking place while Curtis cooks but I couldn’t keep up with that.  I mean…Curtis Stone is Australian and has surfer hair and he made pan-seared halibut and I’m all, “WHY HAVE I NEVER WATCHED THIS SHOW UNTIL THIS YEAR?”  Congrats to Marcy for winning a two pound advantage at the next weigh-in.  And for getting to hug Chef Stone.  Was the made of stone, Marcy?  ‘Cause you know I’m going to ask it of you.

We find our Biggest Losers facing yet another challenge and Team Purple provides, as per usual, the soundbite of the night:  Hannah sees the row of big basins and hopes for a hot tub.   Who wouldn’t?  But Olivia, the voice of reason, reminds her, “It’s never a hot tub.”  This is logic that can be applied to life at many junctures, of course.  Y’all…sometimes it’s just never a hot tub.

The challenge commences and Hannah deems it, “Straight up Little House on the Prairie-style.”  Does this mean Jillian is Nellie Oleson?  Because Bob is totally Almanzo.  Sigh…”Manly.”

That's Hot!

Team Purple and Aqua work well together.  Heck, they’re all working well together.  Dr. Jack Shepherd was right:  live together, die alone.   Another challenge completed.  And then there’s predictable drama in the house (Jillian is OVER it and so are we…I’m sure Team Purple is over it, too!) and we move on to the last chance workout.  In which Jillian proceeds to literally walk all over Olivia and Hannah.  In this context I am OK with it.  Walk all over Team Purple, Jillian.  DO IT.

And then it’s weigh-in time and you lovely purple people, lose the same as you did last time, a whopping 6 lbs! Again also, the purple ladies lose the same exact amount, which is a bit insane. As Bob says, “Those sisters are insync!” However, they’re not the only ones who are insync. Some people brought their excessive drama to the weigh in–Team Purple brought their excessive awesome, as evidenced by their consistent shedding of pounds & their always positive attitudes.

The second elimination round goes by and there are no surprises. Those go, who wanted to go. Most importantly, the purple, “insync” sisters made it through another round and WE ALL REJOICE!