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“It’s Never A Hot Tub.”

19 Jan

Dear Team Purple:

A theme emerged in episode three of Biggest Loser Season 11, and that’s “Live together, die alone.”  We also met the Others for the first time.

And you know any time we can work in a reference to Lost we are totally going to do it, because Jane, Lula, and our own Olivia (Team Purple!) still lament the loss of our beloved show. You are required to love us through it.  Thank you.

Team Purple, along with the rest of the peeps training with Bob & Jillian, proved the power of teamwork, while Cara and Ben Brett were finally revealed to the audience as The New Trainers, over at the Dharma camp Red Barn.  (Dun-dun-duuuuuuun.)  I like to call them “Those people who aren’t Trainer Bob & Jillian,” because let’s face it…that’s what the rest of you are calling them, too.

For the night’s first challenge we find Sami Brady nicely bundled & prepared for the rain, whereas Team Purple seems to be standing in it, sans umbrella.  OK, that’s just rude.  NBC, let’s find color-coordinated umbrellas for our Biggest Losers, shall we?   And then we have black vans, a bunch of smack talking (are we loving Courtney from the Aqua team?  We are.), the balancing of eggs on frying pans clearly purchased from Big Lots, and the winning of a prize:  lunch cooked by some dude named Curtis Stone.  Since I’m a Biggest Loser newbie the name Curtis Stone means nothing to me but Team Purple’s Hannah tells all of America, “God carved him from cream cheese.”  Fat-free cream cheese, right?  I mean, this is The Biggest Loser.

Team Aqua wins the challenge (yay, Marcy!), while The Others give it to Deni (Team Pink), which is nice of them.  I’m saddened for Team Purple, but then Trainer Bob’s Turbo Tax commercial comes on & I fire my CPA on the spot.

Meanwhile back at the Ranch (OK, y’all…cut me some slack!  It only took me 3 posts to use that phrase) we see Team Purple working it out like nobody’s business.  And because they’re so hard-working and beautiful Trainer Bob is all, “Let’s go outside to talk.”  Clearly Hannah & Olivia are Bob’s favorites and none of us are surprised by this news.

Then…I get on my knees for Bob Harper and love him more than I ever imagined possible because he is so unbelievably good to our girls.  Hannah & Olivia take turns sharing their stories with Bob (Olivia’s was not shown on air–but we have it here for you!) and as we cried along with them, Bob encouraged Team Purple to “find out what your new dreams are…it’s time to make a dream come true!“‘

Dream ladies, Dream!

The Biggest Loser – Ep 1103: Week 3 – Purple’s Worry – Video – NBC.com.

BOB FOR KING OF THE UNIVERSE.  Pass me a Kleenex, will you?

Marcy and Deni meet Curtis Stone and he cooks for them.  He also prepares the ladies a delicious, healthy lunch.  Also, Curtis Stone is not carved of fat-free cream cheese.  I said that before seeing him. Curtis Stone is full-fat Philadelphia cream cheese.

There’s also a challenge taking place while Curtis cooks but I couldn’t keep up with that.  I mean…Curtis Stone is Australian and has surfer hair and he made pan-seared halibut and I’m all, “WHY HAVE I NEVER WATCHED THIS SHOW UNTIL THIS YEAR?”  Congrats to Marcy for winning a two pound advantage at the next weigh-in.  And for getting to hug Chef Stone.  Was the made of stone, Marcy?  ‘Cause you know I’m going to ask it of you.

We find our Biggest Losers facing yet another challenge and Team Purple provides, as per usual, the soundbite of the night:  Hannah sees the row of big basins and hopes for a hot tub.   Who wouldn’t?  But Olivia, the voice of reason, reminds her, “It’s never a hot tub.”  This is logic that can be applied to life at many junctures, of course.  Y’all…sometimes it’s just never a hot tub.

The challenge commences and Hannah deems it, “Straight up Little House on the Prairie-style.”  Does this mean Jillian is Nellie Oleson?  Because Bob is totally Almanzo.  Sigh…”Manly.”

That's Hot!

Team Purple and Aqua work well together.  Heck, they’re all working well together.  Dr. Jack Shepherd was right:  live together, die alone.   Another challenge completed.  And then there’s predictable drama in the house (Jillian is OVER it and so are we…I’m sure Team Purple is over it, too!) and we move on to the last chance workout.  In which Jillian proceeds to literally walk all over Olivia and Hannah.  In this context I am OK with it.  Walk all over Team Purple, Jillian.  DO IT.

And then it’s weigh-in time and you lovely purple people, lose the same as you did last time, a whopping 6 lbs! Again also, the purple ladies lose the same exact amount, which is a bit insane. As Bob says, “Those sisters are insync!” However, they’re not the only ones who are insync. Some people brought their excessive drama to the weigh in–Team Purple brought their excessive awesome, as evidenced by their consistent shedding of pounds & their always positive attitudes.

The second elimination round goes by and there are no surprises. Those go, who wanted to go. Most importantly, the purple, “insync” sisters made it through another round and WE ALL REJOICE!

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Sometimes your friends are big ole losers, I mean for real

18 Jan

Dear Team Purple:

Remember how last week we had everything posted, before the day that Biggest Loser aired, and we shared with you our initial thoughts of our first true biggest loser watching experience? We discussed Bob’s hotness, posted pics of him shirtless and decided that the BL would be our LOST replacement. Well this week, both Jane and Lula, got behind on our snarky recap of the biggest loser season eleven and the epicness of the awesome Team Purple commentary. Hence, we’re both Losers, but not in the cool Team Purple sort of way. We’re losers cause we failed to blog earlier.

If you’re looking for an awesome and fun recap of the show last week, I found this great recap, on PhillyBurbs.com, which includes clever little bloggy awards for some of the teams and individual contestants. Not only does the author Jen Wielgus, have one of the first pics in the post contain Hannah from Team Purple, but the post also bequests the “Abbott and Costello Award” to Team Purple due to their comedic quips. Bless it.

Despite the fact that we are bloggy fail and big losers (of the wrong kind), in this week’s letter we decided to let you know what the Team Purple Team (does that even make sense?) was up to all week, while they weren’t writing your letter.

1)    The @DearTeamPurple Twitter made friends with folks while the show aired (holla @FitBottomedGirl & @theBLblog!)

2)  A Mr. Bob Haper tweeted to the @DearTeamPurple . Yes, yes he did!

  3) We got all excited when this blog got a comment from Mama Curlee, herself.

  4)  Jane recovered from a massive sinus infection that had her looking like a zombie.

I may not have looked this bad, but I felt this bad.

 5) We missed you bunches and bunches.

6) We had a weekly chat where Jane used the MyFitnessPal app on her Droid Phone, to scan a vodka UPC label in order to count all her calories. (PS it worked).

7)  We watched the Golden Globes where we all agreed you and #HotBob should have been in attendance and this boy, called Ron was there too.

8)  Jane lost 3 lbs this week! Cause there’s nothing like an illness to keep you on track with your dieting.

9)  We remembered to blog before the next show aired! #GOUS

As you can see we weren’t just sitting around staring at the wall all week. We did do some stuff. Who are we kidding? We’re BIG LAME LOSERS!

Trying To Be Less Big Losers this Week,                                                                                           Lula and Jane