Tag Archives: Bob IS AWESOME

We Will All Miss You Courtney, But Will Remember Your Positive Spirit Always….oh and Bye Brett, too

5 Apr

Dear Team Purple:

This is your new blended color. Enjoy it, #TeamBruise/Swirly thing

It feels odd always calling you Team Purple when you are not even really team purple anymore. But I guess you’ll always be Team Purple to us. Although, I’ve taken to calling you both #TeamBruise, as you are Team Black, Hannah and you Team Blue, O, and you were Purple, before, so get it? Hahaha, such a silly joke, so anyhoo on with the LIVE Blogging:

Jane:  Hello Gorgeous!

You there?

Lula:  I. AM. Here.

Jane:  Hi pretty!

Hey it’s pronounced

OH HI!

Reese lives in OH HI. I want to live in OH HEY!

Lula:  Reese schmeese.

I want to live in New Zealand.  Or Ireland.  But that’s neither here nor there.

Jane:  Haha….I know,…..it’s cool to see their rooms. Court is being PUSHED DO IT Court!

Lula:  Courtney looks good in the red. 

Jane:  O and Hannah are big supporters I know, but I bet Irene is too!

Lula:  This is a trend for her–she looks good in any color.

Irene needs a Pic, this is her, our Sayid-like Secret Ninja

 

Irene is the silent ninja-she is like the Sayid of the bunch.

Jane:  She is indeed.

I enjoy that they ar ehaving a carpet picnic

WHERE’s BOB?

Lula:  (I like how we always make Lost references.  You know Olivia likes it, too.)

YES!

Jane:  Oh it’s Sami

Lula:  I was just gonna say–they’re popping a squat with their food.  Cute.

Jane:  Do we like Sami’s Aztec vest coast thing? I can’t decide

This is an odd challenge. So what’s a mile?

Lula:  Um……..

I don’t know.  It’s got that heart thing going on.  It’s not my thing.

Jane:  WINDYYYYY

Lula:  Also not my thing–Austin’s unfortunate hair DON’T.  oh, dear. 

he needs a make-over.

Jane:  Cleaning is burning of calories!

Ewww O, that sounds gross

Lula:  Olivia ain’t no maid.

 Jane:  She ain’t!

Are they really counting their steps?

WOW! How boring.

Lots of Strateeejury going on here,…….but it’s boring ya’ll.

Lula:  STRA-TEE-JURY.

Jane: Pick and panic

Lula:  oh, Moses….

he’s looking good, though

Jane:  It’s all over….ok what is happenning, just look at this.

What is it?

Who won?????

BURNNNNN

Get your BURN.

I love Hannah and Olivia’s back and forth

It’s HANNAH BANANA!

Kick it

Olivia is gonna clean for the Moms of Amercia

And I cannot spell America

Alone time with Court and Brett. WHere’d you GO?

What the hell is Brett talking about/

Oh wait Lili described that before. Where ya at?

Lula:  I’m here. 

Jane:  I believe Lili more

than Brett

Lula:  I always believe LiLi more. 

Jane:  GO COURT GO COURT

Lula:  LiLi should be up in this show…on the Ranch…working on people’s fitness. 

Jane:  Oh how exciting it’s Cara <<< sarcasm

Lula:  I just yawned.  NO LIE.

Jane:  Oh Ken….just OH

Lula:  He’s a pastor.  Bless him.

Jane:  Yes, indeed. Oh Austin, you gotta BRING IT

That scares me a bit. Rulon looks Cray Cray

Lula:  Where is Rulon getting this contraband from?

He does.  He has that Silence of the Lambs look about him.

 Sent at 8:20 PM on Tuesday

Lula:  WHERE ARE YOU?

Jane:  I am here.

BOBOBOBOB!

That was exciting.

BOB said what I said. Cleaning burns alories

Wait, with a C

BOB is making them SOLDIERS

Bob is concerned…….. Uh OH

Could be a nail biter.

Lula:  SOLDIERS.

Olivia is already a soldier–in God’s Army.  Oh yes, I went there.  WORD.

Jane:  I love that, “Not ME”. says O

Or Dumblebore’s Army, cause I love HP

Can Jill help Rulon? Can anyome?

He scares me….he does

Lula:  he is not even owning up to his actions.

look at him laughing.  NOT TAKING OWNERSHIP OF WHAT HE HAS DONE.

wrong.  i am mad at him.

Jane:  I reward myself with makeup when I lose

Olivia would be proud

I got the Bare Essentuals makeup stuff and I look beautiful

Lula:  i reward myself with makeup, TOO.

 Jane:  I am bored by this now… cause he is annoying, but his eyes get cray cray

 Lula:  of course you look beautiful–BECAUSE YOU ARE.  i love you, Janet.

 Jane:  Love you babe! and Thank you.

I want a ride on a horse. Jill loves horses too. I love horeses

 Lula:  Rulon needs to get some makeup for his cray cray eyes.

 Jane:  I add “es” on the end of silly things

 Lula:  (was that mean?)

 Jane:  NO

Jill is doing a very good thing now!

That is a good idea to help Rulon control his desire for treats

She is being awesome

Lula:  She’s gonna beat his ass.  I love her deeply.

Jane:  JAY is killing BOB

I love it when BOB takes over! HE is crazy amazing.

What an awesome trainer. SOLDIER!

Lula:  Bob is our people.  Olivia has said it all along. 

Jane:  Thank gosh Jill has nixed Rulon juggling ropes

They are terrified of Jill! So funny. And BOB knows the whole time.

Lula:  I love that they’re keeing their win from her.  AWESOME.

Jane:  Hahahahahaha! Hannah, so funny

Lula:  Hannah is a comedian.

LOOK AT HER FACE>

Jane:  Jill should go with them.

Burst a blood vessel in the eyeball. YIKES!

Oh no! They don’t drink do they?

Sent at 8:35 PM on Tuesday

Jane:  Cleaning TIME!

It’s gross in there.

EWWW Sydney would eat that bug for them

Lula: that place wouldn’t be NASTY if Lula was up in there.  SICK.  I abhor a dirty kitchen,

 Jane:  I kinda like Jay going out with Hannah. It’s sweet….like a Papa and his daughetr. Rulon ruins this vision of mine.

Shoes, As big as my FACE!

Lula:  OMS, I love YOU

“Rulon ruins this vision of mine.”

 Jane:  I want shoes as big as my face!

 Lula:  those are some jimmy-jack-em-up shoes.

 Jane:  Hannah looks amazing!

Hannah Banana is just awesome…..I can’t wait to give her big hugs.

“JayBird” awwww

Where they going???

Will they see YOU KNOW WHO???

Lula:  To see HOT ALEX?  I’d die.

Or to see Brody Jenner

see–i brought him up before you could!

 Jane:  YESSS

Awww their faces are great. I love the smiles.

Lula:  SO FUN!

Jane:  Yick thogh Hollywood Blvd isn’t where you go for fun!

Suset ya’ll. Sunset.

Geisha house, is cute and was in Knocked UP. It’s an old classic though.

DON’T DRINK!

Lula:  Ewwwwwww–no seaweed salad.  Gross.

KING CRAB, Yo.  I’m all over that.

Jane:  They are doing wonderful. I am so proud of them.

Esp Jay, he sounds like a proud Papa

Lula:  look–water with lime.  my fave. 

Jane:  NOOOOOOOOOO

Lula:  THIS IS CREEPTASTIC.

Jane:  That rando wanted to toast them because he wanted to be ON TV!!

He wanted to get his 15 mins

Lula:  OH, what a smarmy marmy

Jane:  Don’t leave HANNAH there alone with rando

AHHHHHHHHH

 Sent at 8:45 PM on Tuesday

Jane:  Hannah is being so nice about this. But looks pissed.

Lula:  this guy isn’t even cute.  she needs to RUN.

RUN RUN RUN.

Jane:  Exactly…..so annoying. What a face?

She’s an older lady.

NO YOU’re NOT!

 Lula:  He is creeptastic. 

 Jane:  This is so emotional and awesome, now. Quick turn of events.

GO Hannah.

Lula:  He needs to get OFF camera.  I mean–yay for flattering her.

and she is now making me cry.

Jane:  I know, me too. She is ME!

Okay what is this Green Stuff?

Lula:  you are beautiful, too.  just not in heels that high.

Jane:  Why are we here.

Hahahah not in heels that high.

Okay, really? WE GET THIS

Courtney is on her own team. WE GET IT!

Lula:  Sigh…

MORE OLIVIA.

Jane:  Yes, I want that…..less same conve and more Olivia. Court needs a Ben.

NO WALLS! Court

Do it Court

Lula:  Dude….

Jane:  So why didn’t they show them cleaning?

D00d

Lula:  I had Wholly Guacamole for the first time a few weeks ago…

I texted Ben and said, “I want to marry this stuff and have its babies.”

Have you ever had it?  IT IS SO AMAZING.  Better than what I’ve had in restaurants!

Jane:  I can’t eat avocado stuff.

Lula:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Guac is my fave.

Jane:  It’s the one thing I am “allergic” too

My body can’t digest the high levels of protein in plant form.

It has to deal with some enzyme I don’t have….blah blah blah

I am LAME!

 Lula:  I am so sorry. 

This ruins me.  RUINS me, Janet.  I praise Jesus daily for the avocados. 

 Jane:  It’s OK. I also take Rat Poison known as Coumadin every day

I am playing my sad song now.

 Sent at 8:57 PM on Tuesday

 Jane:  What’s Bob bringing? He cares and loves.

I LOVE HIM

 Lula:  coumadin, as you know, thins your blood.  BE CAREFUL.

BOB IS OUR PEOPLE.

Look at O’s nails.

they’re Blue.  of course.  matchy-matchy.  that’s our girl.

 Jane:  Of course I know! I been taken it for 5 years!

Blue nails rule.

I love that BOB is teaching them right. Wholly Guac! You were just talking about this.

BEST COMMERCIAL EVER! from BOB

duh

Lula:  BOB IS MY HERO FOREVERMORE.

OMS, I just tweeted that I loved Wholly Guacamole.

We win.

OMS, WE SO WIN.

Jane:  I complained a lot about me during our Live Blogging.

Dear People of the World: I will stop!

You go O!

Umm really? What Figher Fighters do.

Irene just does it. I love it.

I am ready for the weigh in, you?

Lula:  You have not complained.  Listen, you are a vital, important part of my life and of Olivia’s life.

Therefore, it’s not complaining.

Besides, I always say–if it matters to you, it matters to God.  The end.

Also, I am so ready for the weigh-in.  NO dramz, no dramz.

Jane: 🙂 That was me smiling.

 Sent at 9:05 PM on Tuesday

Jane:  Fighting fighting like fire fighting

I am going to ask for that work out at the gym

Laser beam focus! That’s right

Jill is amazing at getting Rulon to work

 Sent at 9:08 PM on Tuesday

Where. Are. You?

Jane: It’s reconnecting

Lula: Oh, ok.

Jane: I lost it on the other thing

LAST CHANCE WORK OUT

Here we go ya’ll

This is INTENSE

Court looks adorable her make up is excellence

Lula: HER HAIR IS FAB!

Jane: Totally fab. I love it.

Cara will be heart broken….awwww

That was MEAN

I love Sami’s outfit

Lula: I love Sami’s outfit, too.

Cara’s lipstick is RIDICULOUS.

I mean–it’s her own fault.

Jane: She may be rediculous

Lula: she has Olivia there, at her disposal. She should be taking advantage of that.

Jane: Oh my gosh! This preview for WFE was good!

Lula: UH, I hated it.

Jane: I am so glad they fixed it

Lula: Florence in a trailer for a 30’s movie? Doesn’t fit.

Jane: Oh darn, well we can’t agree on everything. 😉

Lula: Change the song and it works.

No, the trailer is good–but the music is wrong. and you KNOW I love Florence + the Machine.

Jane: I see your point, but I likes it!

Lula: Also–Reese is NOT Marlena, but that’s neither here nor there. I’m not even going to see WFE, so whatever.

Jane: I was so nervous. In the 160’s. Amazing.

I am so proud of her.

Lula: SO proud of her. She looks amazing.

Jane:  She is GLOWING. 80 pound total loss. That is amazing.

Oh, that was about Hannah by the way.

Jay’s turn. 6 pounds loss for him. Awesome.

Lula: Good for him!

He’s done well–coming back to the Ranch and getting a 2nd chance and all.

Jane: He has done great

Lula: Here comes cray cray…

I’m hoping he does well.

Jane: Oh no, it’s the Rougue’s turn

I am hoping for him too

But he just scares me. His attitude and dark stare.

Oh good. 7lbs

Lula:  Good for him.

Jane: Wow Black team is crazy awesome!

Ohh no, I am worried for Courtney

Olivia’s turn.

O’s hair is adorable in a bun.

WOW the musak is scaring me

Lula: She looks gorgeous.

Jane: Commercial on O AGAIN!

Lula: COMMERCIAL, as always.

Sent at 9:22 PM on Tuesday

Jane: Oh no….Now I am nervous.

It was a hard week for her….but she stays positive.

Lula: I am not nervous…because…well…

I love her.

Her positive attitude is DOING IT for me.

Jane:  Good Point.

She is very positive. I love positivity,

GO MOSES! MOSES MOSES

Lula: Look how amazing Moses looks–

Jane: Wow, he is half himself almost literally

Lula: DANG, SON! He is killing it.

Good job, Moses. Be all Biblical with that name.

Jane: 7 pounds for MO! Amazing

Lula: Moses is positive, too. I appreciate that.

Jane: I also like Sami’s hair this week. I want to know how to do that.

Go Irene Irene!

Lula: DANG, GINA. Look at Irene–what a transformation!

She is a hot piece.

Bob is pleased.

Jane:  She is sooo beautiful! They DID IT! and Irene is FUNNNY

I love it

Lula: I enjoy a pleased BOB.

Jane: BOB is pleased to pieces

Blue team is SAFE!! Yeahhhh Olivia. Now we plan for Hannah.

Positive thoughts for the Hannah Banana.

Lula: She’s safe.

I think Austin will do well…

Jane: I think she is too, but you know….it’s always a nail biter

Lula: I like Courtney’s red ring.

Jane:  I like it too. Their fashion accesories are adorable

Jane: 

Ken’s turn. 4 pounds is good for an injury week

Lula: Well, 4 is good considering he had an injury

Jane: That is real good.

Lula: JINX!

Jane: OHHH OHhh OHH Cara. The way she says “all”

Lula: I like Sami Brady’s hair. It looks #goo

Cara makes me rage–I mean…

Why IS she? Why?

Jane: I want to know how to do that hair. I said this before, duh hehehe

Kaylee, why is she? Just Why?

Kaylee lost a pound. And she “did” all she could. And Wanted to go home with all her might.

65 pounds in total for Kaylee’s total loss

Austin’s turn.

Lula: Kaylee shoulda gone home last week. Or the week before. That’s mean of me, but that it is what it is.

Austin is a good lookin’ dude. He just needs that makeover something fierce.

Jane: But Kaylee was on the Red Team and we are supposed to not like them

Lula: DUDE. Lame.

Jane: Austin lost only 2 pounds. It musta been teh fire fighter trainin

Lula: And of course they have Courtney commenting on Austin. L-O-V-E.

Jane: Adorable.

Can I tell you that I think CAra looks like a ….no

Jane:  Ok, it’s Court’s time. SOOOOO NERVOUS

I can’t even spell nervous.

Lula: She looks like Rosie Perez.

Jane: Rosie Perez would be an imporvement

Lula: You called it weeks ago. Rosie Perez, Jr.

Jane: except I can’t spell

Lula: “an improvement.” AWESOME.

Jane: Poor Courtney, bouncing around being nervous.

Lula: FREAKIN’ COMMERCIALS.

Jane: UGGHH Commercials are LAME unless BOB is in them, as we;ve said.

Lula: Right. BOB commercials are winners.

Sent at 9:43 PM on Tuesday

Jane: GOODNESS. TELL US

ON PINS AND NEEDLES

in ALL CAPS

Lula: ALL CAPS. DUDE>

SHIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Jane: EFFFFF

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(These are intelligent comments)

Lula: This is unbelievable.

Dramz. No.

Jane:  Tears. They are making me teary

Lula: Look at Bob & Jillian–they are crying, too.

Jane: Oh Courtney you are amazing.

Lula: THEY ARE OUR PEOPLE.

OLIVIA IS CRYING. Dangit…I am crying.

Jane: Awful just awful

I want to tell Brett to shut it. Let Courtney have her positivity.

Lula: I don’t like Brett’s thumb ring.

He is ruining this moment for me.

GO ‘HEAD, BOB.

If he cries, I will die, Janet.

Jane:  OHh BOB

You be selfish!

Lula: I am bawling.

And Olivia is bawling.

Jane: OHH this is sad

Lula: SHE IS WANTING TO SACRIFICE–that is our friend, right there.

I cannot deal. No, I cannot deal.

Jane: It’s awful….I am so teary and she is so positive.

I LOVE YOU COURT!

Lula:  Sami Brady is about to cry, too.

Jane: Sami is sad and couldn’t even say that “Courtney, I am sorry you are not the Biggest Loser.”

OHH teary teary

I don’t know what to write.

Lula: I’m just snotting.

Jane: Bob’s face just made me laugh.

No Kayles, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE

And that is mean, but how I feel.

You shouldn’t have wanted to go home so bad.

Lula: AGREED. Her ass shoulda gone home 2 weeks ago.

I mean-that is so mean of me. BUT FOR REAL.

Jane: Not cause she is tiny, but cause she wanted to give up.

Lula: RIGHT. I mean, yay for her weight loss…

but she was all, “I wanna go home.”

WELL–GO HOME.

Jane:  Oh Courtney! You are so inspiring.

I LOVE her todeath!

Lula: I love her. She’s our people, too.

And again, they’re playing contemporary Christian music up on this show. Amazing.

Jane: They are? Amazing. I love it and for Court!

I can’t wait to see her.

I want to see her lost more. Not 24 hours later. But glad to see her Mama

Marci still looks great.

Lula: Marci is a HOT PIECE.

Dayum.

Jane: She does look amazing. Go Court’s Papa

Awww her cousins are great.

OH MY GOSH!

She looks great

I love seeing the now look at me!

Courtney is trying to change Dairy Queen. That is awesome!

Lula: CHANGE THAT SHIZ, COURTNEY.

(I scream when I get ‘cited. Clearly.)

Her dad is crying. I AM CRYING. Dang.

Jane: Courtney is amazing.

NEW ZEALAND next week! Whoot.

Well, that’s a wrap again.

Can’t wait for next week.

Lula: I want to go to NZ. So glad Olivia got to

YESSSSSSSSSSSS!

Jane: Well Goonight Lula

Love ya.

Lula: I LOVE YOU, JANE TRIGS.

xoxoxoxoxoxox,

Jane and Lula

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HOP Movie Tie-In and Massages, Really?

29 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

Well, it’s obvious there is a theme going now….And now, more LIVE BLOGGING with Jane and Lula:

Lula is offline.

Jane:  Here we are!

Alrighty speak…let me here it

Is it bad that I am already bored?

We are all still one

I love Olivia’s talk about Sami

Lula: PURPLE, YO

Jane:  YEAH!! Olivia on my bday you found out that you were gonna be on the show, I remember.

Lula:  I was in Vegas!!!!

And she called and said, “I’M GOING TO THE BIGGEST LOSER!!!!!”

Jane:  My Bday

Lula:  It was your bday! ‘Member–I couldn’t come party cause of Vegas & O was headed to the Ranch. SADNESS.

I’m crying.

Jane:  These vids are awesome!

STOP CRYING not already

SHANANIGANS!

Yeeeahhh I ❤ shananigans

Jane:  How crazy that they are bringing in these people. CRAZY TIMES and the musak

Crazy

Lula:  The musak is DUMB.

Jane:  That one boy, Vance is a cutie

Lula:  And look how cute Olivia is.

OF COURSE HER NAME IS LEIGH ANNE.

She probably spells it wrong.

Jane: Hehehe But O is always cute

Awwwww wrong LA is a mama and so sweet

Lula:  Sami Brady is saying MY name.

Jane: You lucky duck. I want to be said on the BL

Maybe I can meet her one day and she’ll say my name.

I dig Vance’s deep voice

I wonder if they got trainers too.

Lula:  Let’s make it our life goal to get Sami Brady to say AUNT JANICE!

Jane:  Hey I lost almost 30lbs in 3 months

27lbs now

Court is such a flirt

I love it! Confidence

Lula:  You rock, Jane:. I’m so proud of you.

Jane: “Journeys”

Thanks babe!

Wowzer 45lbs is amazing

So this is the part where Sami makes Kaylee feel guilty

Lula:  We are CRACKING UP at you, Jane:–me and Heather.

And I am proud of Vance & Leann. They are losing weight at a “real life pace.”

Jane:  Yes, Real Life pace is hard like crazy

4 teams, ya’ll

Sami loves metaphor based challenges

Also they love challenges that cause everyone to have to say “Balls” the whole time. Yug

Week Off campus. Pooopers

How many challenges are we having this week?

Don’t leave the ranch O!

Olivia is amazing at this, Go girl

(I just typed a lot of nonsense – Jane)

Lula:  Balls.

Jane: Exactly

But notice Sami calls them “Points”

Lula:  I am DYINg at how small Courtney and Olivia and Hannah are.

Jane: OK, now I am bored, although it is nice seeing the skinny minis

JINX

10 balls…..

GO O!!! GO BLUE

Lula:  BALLS.

Blue Balls.

Jane:  Hahaha

Lula:  (Heheheh.)

(this is where we turned 10 years-old)

Jane:  YAYYY!! Not last.

Go Green

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm this is crapola. Where will Brett take them?

Awww they are going to do EASTER! I love EASTER

Back from commercial

Massage?

The Menu is crazy

AHHHH STRA TEE JURY

Lula:  THIS IS DUMB.

A massage? NO.

NO NO NO.

Jane:  Hahaha

Lula:  I mean, we all want a massage, but they are not out there for some pampering.

Jane:  This is silly, but I want to see how it plays out

Gym Memberships!

WHAAAA?? An hour to call people?

Luxery crap is silly.

They are excluding Brett cause who needs Rope Juggling?

Lula:  I just tweeted that. HELL NO. Heather and I are bothered.

Jane:  Rope Juggling can be done easily done without a trainer, duhhh

That was a silly sentence. GET YOUR CONFIDENCE COURT

Courtney should call Ben for confidence!

Lula:  They’re showing this FOR A REASON, Jane:. The shiz is gonna hit the fan. You wait.

Jane:  Yes, seriously

Lula:  Um….THEY BROUGHT THIS ON THEMSELVES.

Jane: Totally on themselves..even Brett says this is bad. Where is Jill? She would kick their ASS

Ohh I call Jillian Jill now, in honor of my mother

Court call BEN!

BEN breaks walls

  Continue reading

The One Where We See Hannah Pray on TV, We Lose Justin and He Calls Us Out

22 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

We really enjoyed our last LIVE Blogging experience. We thought you did too! In fact, expect to see more LIVE Blogging in the future. Please, love us through it. AND GO…………

Lula is online.

Jane: myello

Sent at 7:58 PM on Tuesday

Lula: PURPLE, YO

i am here

Jane: And Olivia starts us out with some “pot stirring”

What on earth?

Lula: she should stir the pot–she’s the CHEF

Olivia now has on a Lab Coat and is Blond. Don't ask.

Jane:  4 Teams???

Oh duh! That is right. I didn’t like the other way that could have gone re: stiring the pot. Thanks for your guidance always Lula

Ohh Hannah Banana…..Love you babe

Lula:  I am nervous.

Jane:  This must be so hard for them….I mean how do you pick away from your friends

Lula:  wait–are we live blogging here–I just wanna be clear

Jane:  duhhhh 

Nervous like whoah…PS is that how you spell whoah?

Lula: whoa

Jane:  Thanks! Listen I WILL BE WITH BOB for whatever!

I mean whatever

Lula:  “Bob is Tongan.” No, BOB IS HOT.

Jane:  What are they calling him Tongen? I need to look that one up and I was an Anthropology minor in College. Oh Irene, Lucky Duck

Lula:  Tongan. Something about Hawaiians or something. We should Google that before we embarrass ourselves.

Jane:  OLIVIA!!!

Lula:  And JILLIAN is gonna beat the SHIT out of Rulon. Like we always knew she would.

Jane:  Don’t say Shizz

Lula:  Of course Olivia is with HER PEOPLE, aka Bob.

Sorry. Shiz.

Jane:  Olivia and Hannah make me teary…….what is new

Lula:  ‘Member that time Olivia wrote me from the Ranch and was all, “Bob is our people?” He is so our people.

Jane:  Thank goodness she gets Jillian! “I will be coming to you shortly”

Lula:  And then Hannah prays on TV and we love her forever. She is COMING HOME, Lordy.

Jane:  Oh Courtney. I love you. I wish you had Jill with Hannah

Dramatic musak

Lula:  This musak is LAME.com <http://LAME.com>

Jane:  YES

Lula:  COOOOOL. Jillian is down.

Jane:  Hannah is with Rulon and I don’t know how I feel. I like that she is with Jill–ian but, not sure about the Rulon bizzness.

Lula:  is Jen on Bret’s team? she is, right?

Jane:  YES. It’s gonna get real

I love that tweet that Hannah just responded to us. Awesome. YEAHHH Daddy Jay or Arthur

Lula:  I feel that Roulon is not Hannah’s people. I wrote back to Hannah just now. Win.

Jane:  I may or may not agree with that….but we shall see. Oh I love Bob waying in.

I mean opinion wise.  Hannah is the biggest angel. DO that right thing. Bless it!

Lula:  DUH. It’s Jay.

also–how hard are we gonna cry when Jillian peaces out at the end of this season?

HARD, that’s how.

Jane:  WORD Jillian gave it away on FB. Silly Jillian

Lula:  But we love her. Even though she showed Jay on FB. With the lobster. OR crab. whatever that thing was.

Jane:  Oh I love her. I hope I get to see Jillian in real life one day…ahem

CRUNCH!  Where is Brody Jenner?  (NOTE: I have a Brody Jenner problem, but I am #TEAMBROVIL)

Look at that girl GO!!

Lula:  BWAHAHAHA. he is with Avril Lavigne.

Jane:  He is! I am team #Brovil

Poor Moses, I feel for him. He is struggling but he is going to get a work out

The cheering is GREAT!

Lula:  They are calling for him like that red sea is gonna part.

Jane:  They ARE! And I would be crying if I was in that class right now…And I don’t cry

Also crying because we could see Olivia.

Lula:  You will cry. At the end of all this, you will SOB YOUR HEAD OFF.

Even the Crunch Hand is Team Purple

Jane:  I wish I could go to CRUNCH this week. Also, just to see BOB. That spinning looks fab fun, but hard

Lula:  I would spin my life away just to see him. yeah, I said it.

Jane:  Look at how HOT Hannah is!!

Lula:  Look, Jillian’s beach house.

Jane:  BEACH house is NICE

Lula: SCARLETT O’HANNAH!

Jane: OK so Beks is calling me. STOP CALLING ME BEKS!

The Purple Team Show is on

Lula:  She is crazy. Hannah is all ARE YOU ON CRACK?

I heart her.

Jane:  I know CRACK. CRACK KILLS. They still have those ugly water bottles.

Lula:  FUGLY water bottles.

Jane:  Gosh I hope they have sunscreen on

Lula:  At this point, even black would rock.

Jane:  Pale gurls worry

Lula:  And bless you–SUNSCREEN. Mama Jane.

Jane:  LORD Have mercy!  I told you CRACK KILLS. This is making me feel uncomfortable

Lula:  CRACK KILLS.

Jane:  He is throwing and pulling those girls around

Lula:  and he’s all, “Jillian is riding me.” Lawsy, what a TWSS.

Jane:  How awesome it is to run on MALIBU! NOW maybe she will actually see Brody Jenner!!

Hannah, Did you see this man while running in Malibu?

Again, NOTE – I may be obsessed with Brody Jenner, in a jokesy kind of way….but why not?

I love Jillian’s glasses

Lula:  I’m obsessed with Jason Statham. And Alexander Skarsgard. WHY NOT?

Jane:  I am kind of ignoring his heart to heart

Lula:  ‘Member that time Olivia signed her email “Olivia Skarsgard Northman” and we died and loved her longtime?

Jane:  It’s about Worthiness….good message. OH my gosh, I forgot about that OSN sign off

Lula:  I am also ignoring it and walking down memory lane. Because Olivia + HotAlex > than Roulon’s pep talk.

Jane:  You know indeed. Did they lose Hannah? 

Lula:  Hannah was all, “Peace out–gotta get my run on while y’all are being all Hallmark Gold Crown Store.”

Jane:  Totally, she was like, I am gonna find me a hot malibu surfer guy. See ya’ll!

I wish the camera went with Hannah…..No BOB, Jill, Hannah, or Olivia

What do we do now?

Lula:  I’m gonna drink some wine. To be honest.

Jane:  I love that Courtney is happy to be outside

Lula:  it’s antioxidants and good for your cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.

(NOTE – for some reason I ignore that Lula is getting her drink on)

Jane:  Are they meditating? This is ummmmmmmmmmmmm interesting

Lula:  IT IS GOD’s NATURE, LAME-O.

Sigh. Go hug a tree, Brett. #I’mMean

Jane:  She is always so positive. Bless Courtney and she lost her mom last week!

Jen is so beautiful

Lula:  Jen is looking AWESOME. All the girls this season are really beautiful.

And then there's Justin

Jane:  And then there’s Justin

Lula:  And I’m not gonna say, “They have pretty faces.” NO THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL, ALL OVER.

OMS, “And then there’s Justin.” YEEEEEEE-HAW. Justin. Bless him.

Jane:  They are, I agree. Esp their attitudes.

Lula: (I love you, Janet.) YOU MADE HIM CRY! You done made Justin cry, Jane Trigs.

Jane:  I am special! I wonder how much his facial hair ways…weighs

Lula:  MEAN. But…good point. Also, Brett has chin pubes. He needs to stop with that.

Jane:  More realistic then mean. 🙂

Lula:  NO. NO group hug.

Jane:  Are we advertising now? No Jillian

Lula:  Oh, dear. Commercial. ROULON is talking about being warm inside. I CANNOT SPEAK OF THIS.

Jane:  Well at least she seemed natural. I ignored it.

Continue reading

NBC Wants Us to Not Like the Red Team, We Can’t Help It

9 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

In an effort to actually blog on time, our dearest Lula and I decided to LIVE Blog via GChat. We laughed together, we cried together, we prayed together, we screamed together, we made up stories together while bored (Red Team) and we compared ya’ll to LOST, as we should. Boy was this one a total nail biter. So very glad we made it through together. So at last, I bring you Random LIVE Blogging with Jane and Lula:

Jane:  And to begin

Hannah is amazing, but she needs to not argue with Jillian. Duh

Lula:  YES.

Jane:  Hannah you are capable!

4 reasons you do it

1) Tall and thin enough

2) Knowledge….what else?  I missed it…

Lula:  BECAUSE SHE’S SCARLETT O’HANNAH

I’m tweeting that.

 Jane:  that is it. And you know what Jill is right.  mean she does look aazing

that was amazing

Oh crap she’s making me want to get teary

I could watch the Hannah Banana show all seasn*  (*editor note – Jane is notorious for bad grammer and spelling. If it wasn’t in here, Olivia wouldn’t believe it was Jane)

 Lula:  She gon’ make me cry

 Jane:  How excited is it that Marci is now the captain? They needed a leader on that carebear team

I also think that I need to keep all bad spellings and grammer. That way Olivia will know it’s really me (*SEE)

Jane:  How much do I lovethat my Mama calls Jillian, Jill. Bless her heart. She called me as I was leaving work and she kept talking about “Jill”. Hhaha

OLIVIA!

Lula:  Look at her apron!

Jane:  Betty Crocker O

Lula:  BETTY CROCKER.

Jane:  They called her OB

Love it!

 Lula:  MAMA OLIVIA and her SIX GIRLS!  Bless it.

Jane:  Bless it. Hummus…I wants it

Spin Bike YES

Lula:  “WHAT WOULD A MOM DO?”  And now Obird is gonna make me cry.  Because we know.  WE KNOW.

I am screaming.  Please love me through it.

Jane:  She will be the greatst Mama, WE KNOW

Lula:  WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

See!  We KNOW!

WE KNOW THIS, JANET.  Oh, dear God.  Let’s just cry now.

(apparant crying ensues)

Jane:  Is it wrong that I want to yawn now?

Lula:  NO.  That they kept Kaylee (however you spell it) when she lost only 1 pound and sent Arthur home is RUDE.

(Marta just tweeted something awesome–we need to quote her.)* (* Never did find out what that was. LIVE blogging is fast)

Jane:  RUDE

I just told off Chris Weitz on Twitter. He tweets now Olivia and he kind of loses control. Doesn’t he know the Team Purple show is on?

I am a little bored still….”Family”

 Lula:  THE FAMILY STUFF IS LAME.COM <http://LAME.COM&gt;

 Jane:  Ewww Mud!

 Lula:  Also, Justin is NOT INSPIRING.

Jane:  NOT

I just said, “NOT” like that was a thoughtful comment

Ken is cooking?Hmmm

I forgot to eat lunch today, it sucks

I am hungry now.

I wonder if they use http://www.myfitnesspal.com like I do

Lula:  We had a BL supper–from the BL cookbook.

it was not so good, but hey–low calorie, low fat, LOW TASTE.  dangit.

Jane:  Was it Olivia nd not Ken based? Cause Olivia is Queen Cook

Not all the time…..Low clorie can be tasty! Really. But sometimes you get a bad one.

BURN

Gets my BURN

FREE ADVERTISING!! Now what do I get?

I type a bunch

Lula:  it was steamed brown rice (so boring) and steamed cut corn (no butter–lame) and chicken breast breaded with panko.  it was ok.  but not so tasty

Jane:  Why can’t they say when they went home? I mean some people know (and I am keepig this comment in)

It was during a hard time where people eat a lot people. I think i should be mentioned. But not by me

*it should be mentioned

Lula:  think what should be mentioned?

wait–confused.

Jane:  When the time at home was

During which period

CHALLENGE time

What does Sami have on?

Oh Sami…no

The hat!

Lula:  OH, SAMI. 

HALE NO.

That hat is ridiculous.  She knows better.  Marlena taught her better.

Jane:  What the heck are they gonna do with $6000 on campus

I don’t get the cash prize stuff while they are there

OK people Strateejury

Lula:  STRA TEE JURY.

Be right back–gotta kiss my girls.

Jane:  GO!

That’s right JEN. Red is NO victory

Lula:  back

Jane:  This is gross, and taking a while

Lula:  that is some GOO

and not GOO like our GOO

but goo like gross goo

Jane:  Gross GOO

I hope someone falls

DON’t Pannick

What on earth am I supposed to write

Lula:  “3 Foot Log”  TWSS

Jane:  OLIVIA “That Guy” YES!

That’s what we all think

Lula:  YES. i’ll tweet that. (The TWSS went completly over my head -Jane)

Jane:  Olivia sometimes it is difficult not to write things that are derogatory (sp?) to the Red Team

Love me through it…I just wanna cheer for you

BLACK WINS!

Lula:  WINNER WINNER LOW-FAT CHICKEN DINNER!

Jane:  New make-up with $6K

An executive chef?

Lula:  Think of all the MAC O and Hannah can buy with that money.

More FREE advertising, ahem

 Jane:  On what?

Ohh you said MAC, WAIT! That’s make-up I know that

Lula:  Yes–MAC.  It’s Olivia’s make-up of choice.  And Norah’s, too.

Jane:  <<— Make-up dumb

Oh wow! The Red Team WOW

I am glad I on’t have to love them

Poor Ken talking about snacks. Hey it’s Product Placment time!

Lula:  THESE COMMERCIALS ARE LAME

And the red team is…ah, I’ll be nice.

Jane:  So I think some of my vowels on my keyboard are sticking. It’s not just that I am a bad typer

Lula:  And be quiet.

Jane:  Although I can’t soell

Lula:  soell

ha!

Jane:  UGGHH

Continue reading

“It’s Never A Hot Tub.”

19 Jan

Dear Team Purple:

A theme emerged in episode three of Biggest Loser Season 11, and that’s “Live together, die alone.”  We also met the Others for the first time.

And you know any time we can work in a reference to Lost we are totally going to do it, because Jane, Lula, and our own Olivia (Team Purple!) still lament the loss of our beloved show. You are required to love us through it.  Thank you.

Team Purple, along with the rest of the peeps training with Bob & Jillian, proved the power of teamwork, while Cara and Ben Brett were finally revealed to the audience as The New Trainers, over at the Dharma camp Red Barn.  (Dun-dun-duuuuuuun.)  I like to call them “Those people who aren’t Trainer Bob & Jillian,” because let’s face it…that’s what the rest of you are calling them, too.

For the night’s first challenge we find Sami Brady nicely bundled & prepared for the rain, whereas Team Purple seems to be standing in it, sans umbrella.  OK, that’s just rude.  NBC, let’s find color-coordinated umbrellas for our Biggest Losers, shall we?   And then we have black vans, a bunch of smack talking (are we loving Courtney from the Aqua team?  We are.), the balancing of eggs on frying pans clearly purchased from Big Lots, and the winning of a prize:  lunch cooked by some dude named Curtis Stone.  Since I’m a Biggest Loser newbie the name Curtis Stone means nothing to me but Team Purple’s Hannah tells all of America, “God carved him from cream cheese.”  Fat-free cream cheese, right?  I mean, this is The Biggest Loser.

Team Aqua wins the challenge (yay, Marcy!), while The Others give it to Deni (Team Pink), which is nice of them.  I’m saddened for Team Purple, but then Trainer Bob’s Turbo Tax commercial comes on & I fire my CPA on the spot.

Meanwhile back at the Ranch (OK, y’all…cut me some slack!  It only took me 3 posts to use that phrase) we see Team Purple working it out like nobody’s business.  And because they’re so hard-working and beautiful Trainer Bob is all, “Let’s go outside to talk.”  Clearly Hannah & Olivia are Bob’s favorites and none of us are surprised by this news.

Then…I get on my knees for Bob Harper and love him more than I ever imagined possible because he is so unbelievably good to our girls.  Hannah & Olivia take turns sharing their stories with Bob (Olivia’s was not shown on air–but we have it here for you!) and as we cried along with them, Bob encouraged Team Purple to “find out what your new dreams are…it’s time to make a dream come true!“‘

Dream ladies, Dream!

The Biggest Loser – Ep 1103: Week 3 – Purple’s Worry – Video – NBC.com.

BOB FOR KING OF THE UNIVERSE.  Pass me a Kleenex, will you?

Marcy and Deni meet Curtis Stone and he cooks for them.  He also prepares the ladies a delicious, healthy lunch.  Also, Curtis Stone is not carved of fat-free cream cheese.  I said that before seeing him. Curtis Stone is full-fat Philadelphia cream cheese.

There’s also a challenge taking place while Curtis cooks but I couldn’t keep up with that.  I mean…Curtis Stone is Australian and has surfer hair and he made pan-seared halibut and I’m all, “WHY HAVE I NEVER WATCHED THIS SHOW UNTIL THIS YEAR?”  Congrats to Marcy for winning a two pound advantage at the next weigh-in.  And for getting to hug Chef Stone.  Was the made of stone, Marcy?  ‘Cause you know I’m going to ask it of you.

We find our Biggest Losers facing yet another challenge and Team Purple provides, as per usual, the soundbite of the night:  Hannah sees the row of big basins and hopes for a hot tub.   Who wouldn’t?  But Olivia, the voice of reason, reminds her, “It’s never a hot tub.”  This is logic that can be applied to life at many junctures, of course.  Y’all…sometimes it’s just never a hot tub.

The challenge commences and Hannah deems it, “Straight up Little House on the Prairie-style.”  Does this mean Jillian is Nellie Oleson?  Because Bob is totally Almanzo.  Sigh…”Manly.”

That's Hot!

Team Purple and Aqua work well together.  Heck, they’re all working well together.  Dr. Jack Shepherd was right:  live together, die alone.   Another challenge completed.  And then there’s predictable drama in the house (Jillian is OVER it and so are we…I’m sure Team Purple is over it, too!) and we move on to the last chance workout.  In which Jillian proceeds to literally walk all over Olivia and Hannah.  In this context I am OK with it.  Walk all over Team Purple, Jillian.  DO IT.

And then it’s weigh-in time and you lovely purple people, lose the same as you did last time, a whopping 6 lbs! Again also, the purple ladies lose the same exact amount, which is a bit insane. As Bob says, “Those sisters are insync!” However, they’re not the only ones who are insync. Some people brought their excessive drama to the weigh in–Team Purple brought their excessive awesome, as evidenced by their consistent shedding of pounds & their always positive attitudes.

The second elimination round goes by and there are no surprises. Those go, who wanted to go. Most importantly, the purple, “insync” sisters made it through another round and WE ALL REJOICE!