Tag Archives: Sami Brady it IS

The One Where We See Hannah Pray on TV, We Lose Justin and He Calls Us Out

22 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

We really enjoyed our last LIVE Blogging experience. We thought you did too! In fact, expect to see more LIVE Blogging in the future. Please, love us through it. AND GO…………

Lula is online.

Jane: myello

Sent at 7:58 PM on Tuesday

Lula: PURPLE, YO

i am here

Jane: And Olivia starts us out with some “pot stirring”

What on earth?

Lula: she should stir the pot–she’s the CHEF

Olivia now has on a Lab Coat and is Blond. Don't ask.

Jane:  4 Teams???

Oh duh! That is right. I didn’t like the other way that could have gone re: stiring the pot. Thanks for your guidance always Lula

Ohh Hannah Banana…..Love you babe

Lula:  I am nervous.

Jane:  This must be so hard for them….I mean how do you pick away from your friends

Lula:  wait–are we live blogging here–I just wanna be clear

Jane:  duhhhh 

Nervous like whoah…PS is that how you spell whoah?

Lula: whoa

Jane:  Thanks! Listen I WILL BE WITH BOB for whatever!

I mean whatever

Lula:  “Bob is Tongan.” No, BOB IS HOT.

Jane:  What are they calling him Tongen? I need to look that one up and I was an Anthropology minor in College. Oh Irene, Lucky Duck

Lula:  Tongan. Something about Hawaiians or something. We should Google that before we embarrass ourselves.

Jane:  OLIVIA!!!

Lula:  And JILLIAN is gonna beat the SHIT out of Rulon. Like we always knew she would.

Jane:  Don’t say Shizz

Lula:  Of course Olivia is with HER PEOPLE, aka Bob.

Sorry. Shiz.

Jane:  Olivia and Hannah make me teary…….what is new

Lula:  ‘Member that time Olivia wrote me from the Ranch and was all, “Bob is our people?” He is so our people.

Jane:  Thank goodness she gets Jillian! “I will be coming to you shortly”

Lula:  And then Hannah prays on TV and we love her forever. She is COMING HOME, Lordy.

Jane:  Oh Courtney. I love you. I wish you had Jill with Hannah

Dramatic musak

Lula:  This musak is LAME.com <http://LAME.com>

Jane:  YES

Lula:  COOOOOL. Jillian is down.

Jane:  Hannah is with Rulon and I don’t know how I feel. I like that she is with Jill–ian but, not sure about the Rulon bizzness.

Lula:  is Jen on Bret’s team? she is, right?

Jane:  YES. It’s gonna get real

I love that tweet that Hannah just responded to us. Awesome. YEAHHH Daddy Jay or Arthur

Lula:  I feel that Roulon is not Hannah’s people. I wrote back to Hannah just now. Win.

Jane:  I may or may not agree with that….but we shall see. Oh I love Bob waying in.

I mean opinion wise.  Hannah is the biggest angel. DO that right thing. Bless it!

Lula:  DUH. It’s Jay.

also–how hard are we gonna cry when Jillian peaces out at the end of this season?

HARD, that’s how.

Jane:  WORD Jillian gave it away on FB. Silly Jillian

Lula:  But we love her. Even though she showed Jay on FB. With the lobster. OR crab. whatever that thing was.

Jane:  Oh I love her. I hope I get to see Jillian in real life one day…ahem

CRUNCH!  Where is Brody Jenner?  (NOTE: I have a Brody Jenner problem, but I am #TEAMBROVIL)

Look at that girl GO!!

Lula:  BWAHAHAHA. he is with Avril Lavigne.

Jane:  He is! I am team #Brovil

Poor Moses, I feel for him. He is struggling but he is going to get a work out

The cheering is GREAT!

Lula:  They are calling for him like that red sea is gonna part.

Jane:  They ARE! And I would be crying if I was in that class right now…And I don’t cry

Also crying because we could see Olivia.

Lula:  You will cry. At the end of all this, you will SOB YOUR HEAD OFF.

Even the Crunch Hand is Team Purple

Jane:  I wish I could go to CRUNCH this week. Also, just to see BOB. That spinning looks fab fun, but hard

Lula:  I would spin my life away just to see him. yeah, I said it.

Jane:  Look at how HOT Hannah is!!

Lula:  Look, Jillian’s beach house.

Jane:  BEACH house is NICE

Lula: SCARLETT O’HANNAH!

Jane: OK so Beks is calling me. STOP CALLING ME BEKS!

The Purple Team Show is on

Lula:  She is crazy. Hannah is all ARE YOU ON CRACK?

I heart her.

Jane:  I know CRACK. CRACK KILLS. They still have those ugly water bottles.

Lula:  FUGLY water bottles.

Jane:  Gosh I hope they have sunscreen on

Lula:  At this point, even black would rock.

Jane:  Pale gurls worry

Lula:  And bless you–SUNSCREEN. Mama Jane.

Jane:  LORD Have mercy!  I told you CRACK KILLS. This is making me feel uncomfortable

Lula:  CRACK KILLS.

Jane:  He is throwing and pulling those girls around

Lula:  and he’s all, “Jillian is riding me.” Lawsy, what a TWSS.

Jane:  How awesome it is to run on MALIBU! NOW maybe she will actually see Brody Jenner!!

Hannah, Did you see this man while running in Malibu?

Again, NOTE – I may be obsessed with Brody Jenner, in a jokesy kind of way….but why not?

I love Jillian’s glasses

Lula:  I’m obsessed with Jason Statham. And Alexander Skarsgard. WHY NOT?

Jane:  I am kind of ignoring his heart to heart

Lula:  ‘Member that time Olivia signed her email “Olivia Skarsgard Northman” and we died and loved her longtime?

Jane:  It’s about Worthiness….good message. OH my gosh, I forgot about that OSN sign off

Lula:  I am also ignoring it and walking down memory lane. Because Olivia + HotAlex > than Roulon’s pep talk.

Jane:  You know indeed. Did they lose Hannah? 

Lula:  Hannah was all, “Peace out–gotta get my run on while y’all are being all Hallmark Gold Crown Store.”

Jane:  Totally, she was like, I am gonna find me a hot malibu surfer guy. See ya’ll!

I wish the camera went with Hannah…..No BOB, Jill, Hannah, or Olivia

What do we do now?

Lula:  I’m gonna drink some wine. To be honest.

Jane:  I love that Courtney is happy to be outside

Lula:  it’s antioxidants and good for your cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.

(NOTE – for some reason I ignore that Lula is getting her drink on)

Jane:  Are they meditating? This is ummmmmmmmmmmmm interesting

Lula:  IT IS GOD’s NATURE, LAME-O.

Sigh. Go hug a tree, Brett. #I’mMean

Jane:  She is always so positive. Bless Courtney and she lost her mom last week!

Jen is so beautiful

Lula:  Jen is looking AWESOME. All the girls this season are really beautiful.

And then there's Justin

Jane:  And then there’s Justin

Lula:  And I’m not gonna say, “They have pretty faces.” NO THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL, ALL OVER.

OMS, “And then there’s Justin.” YEEEEEEE-HAW. Justin. Bless him.

Jane:  They are, I agree. Esp their attitudes.

Lula: (I love you, Janet.) YOU MADE HIM CRY! You done made Justin cry, Jane Trigs.

Jane:  I am special! I wonder how much his facial hair ways…weighs

Lula:  MEAN. But…good point. Also, Brett has chin pubes. He needs to stop with that.

Jane:  More realistic then mean. 🙂

Lula:  NO. NO group hug.

Jane:  Are we advertising now? No Jillian

Lula:  Oh, dear. Commercial. ROULON is talking about being warm inside. I CANNOT SPEAK OF THIS.

Jane:  Well at least she seemed natural. I ignored it.

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NBC Wants Us to Not Like the Red Team, We Can’t Help It

9 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

In an effort to actually blog on time, our dearest Lula and I decided to LIVE Blog via GChat. We laughed together, we cried together, we prayed together, we screamed together, we made up stories together while bored (Red Team) and we compared ya’ll to LOST, as we should. Boy was this one a total nail biter. So very glad we made it through together. So at last, I bring you Random LIVE Blogging with Jane and Lula:

Jane:  And to begin

Hannah is amazing, but she needs to not argue with Jillian. Duh

Lula:  YES.

Jane:  Hannah you are capable!

4 reasons you do it

1) Tall and thin enough

2) Knowledge….what else?  I missed it…

Lula:  BECAUSE SHE’S SCARLETT O’HANNAH

I’m tweeting that.

 Jane:  that is it. And you know what Jill is right.  mean she does look aazing

that was amazing

Oh crap she’s making me want to get teary

I could watch the Hannah Banana show all seasn*  (*editor note – Jane is notorious for bad grammer and spelling. If it wasn’t in here, Olivia wouldn’t believe it was Jane)

 Lula:  She gon’ make me cry

 Jane:  How excited is it that Marci is now the captain? They needed a leader on that carebear team

I also think that I need to keep all bad spellings and grammer. That way Olivia will know it’s really me (*SEE)

Jane:  How much do I lovethat my Mama calls Jillian, Jill. Bless her heart. She called me as I was leaving work and she kept talking about “Jill”. Hhaha

OLIVIA!

Lula:  Look at her apron!

Jane:  Betty Crocker O

Lula:  BETTY CROCKER.

Jane:  They called her OB

Love it!

 Lula:  MAMA OLIVIA and her SIX GIRLS!  Bless it.

Jane:  Bless it. Hummus…I wants it

Spin Bike YES

Lula:  “WHAT WOULD A MOM DO?”  And now Obird is gonna make me cry.  Because we know.  WE KNOW.

I am screaming.  Please love me through it.

Jane:  She will be the greatst Mama, WE KNOW

Lula:  WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

See!  We KNOW!

WE KNOW THIS, JANET.  Oh, dear God.  Let’s just cry now.

(apparant crying ensues)

Jane:  Is it wrong that I want to yawn now?

Lula:  NO.  That they kept Kaylee (however you spell it) when she lost only 1 pound and sent Arthur home is RUDE.

(Marta just tweeted something awesome–we need to quote her.)* (* Never did find out what that was. LIVE blogging is fast)

Jane:  RUDE

I just told off Chris Weitz on Twitter. He tweets now Olivia and he kind of loses control. Doesn’t he know the Team Purple show is on?

I am a little bored still….”Family”

 Lula:  THE FAMILY STUFF IS LAME.COM <http://LAME.COM&gt;

 Jane:  Ewww Mud!

 Lula:  Also, Justin is NOT INSPIRING.

Jane:  NOT

I just said, “NOT” like that was a thoughtful comment

Ken is cooking?Hmmm

I forgot to eat lunch today, it sucks

I am hungry now.

I wonder if they use http://www.myfitnesspal.com like I do

Lula:  We had a BL supper–from the BL cookbook.

it was not so good, but hey–low calorie, low fat, LOW TASTE.  dangit.

Jane:  Was it Olivia nd not Ken based? Cause Olivia is Queen Cook

Not all the time…..Low clorie can be tasty! Really. But sometimes you get a bad one.

BURN

Gets my BURN

FREE ADVERTISING!! Now what do I get?

I type a bunch

Lula:  it was steamed brown rice (so boring) and steamed cut corn (no butter–lame) and chicken breast breaded with panko.  it was ok.  but not so tasty

Jane:  Why can’t they say when they went home? I mean some people know (and I am keepig this comment in)

It was during a hard time where people eat a lot people. I think i should be mentioned. But not by me

*it should be mentioned

Lula:  think what should be mentioned?

wait–confused.

Jane:  When the time at home was

During which period

CHALLENGE time

What does Sami have on?

Oh Sami…no

The hat!

Lula:  OH, SAMI. 

HALE NO.

That hat is ridiculous.  She knows better.  Marlena taught her better.

Jane:  What the heck are they gonna do with $6000 on campus

I don’t get the cash prize stuff while they are there

OK people Strateejury

Lula:  STRA TEE JURY.

Be right back–gotta kiss my girls.

Jane:  GO!

That’s right JEN. Red is NO victory

Lula:  back

Jane:  This is gross, and taking a while

Lula:  that is some GOO

and not GOO like our GOO

but goo like gross goo

Jane:  Gross GOO

I hope someone falls

DON’t Pannick

What on earth am I supposed to write

Lula:  “3 Foot Log”  TWSS

Jane:  OLIVIA “That Guy” YES!

That’s what we all think

Lula:  YES. i’ll tweet that. (The TWSS went completly over my head -Jane)

Jane:  Olivia sometimes it is difficult not to write things that are derogatory (sp?) to the Red Team

Love me through it…I just wanna cheer for you

BLACK WINS!

Lula:  WINNER WINNER LOW-FAT CHICKEN DINNER!

Jane:  New make-up with $6K

An executive chef?

Lula:  Think of all the MAC O and Hannah can buy with that money.

More FREE advertising, ahem

 Jane:  On what?

Ohh you said MAC, WAIT! That’s make-up I know that

Lula:  Yes–MAC.  It’s Olivia’s make-up of choice.  And Norah’s, too.

Jane:  <<— Make-up dumb

Oh wow! The Red Team WOW

I am glad I on’t have to love them

Poor Ken talking about snacks. Hey it’s Product Placment time!

Lula:  THESE COMMERCIALS ARE LAME

And the red team is…ah, I’ll be nice.

Jane:  So I think some of my vowels on my keyboard are sticking. It’s not just that I am a bad typer

Lula:  And be quiet.

Jane:  Although I can’t soell

Lula:  soell

ha!

Jane:  UGGHH

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“It’s Never A Hot Tub.”

19 Jan

Dear Team Purple:

A theme emerged in episode three of Biggest Loser Season 11, and that’s “Live together, die alone.”  We also met the Others for the first time.

And you know any time we can work in a reference to Lost we are totally going to do it, because Jane, Lula, and our own Olivia (Team Purple!) still lament the loss of our beloved show. You are required to love us through it.  Thank you.

Team Purple, along with the rest of the peeps training with Bob & Jillian, proved the power of teamwork, while Cara and Ben Brett were finally revealed to the audience as The New Trainers, over at the Dharma camp Red Barn.  (Dun-dun-duuuuuuun.)  I like to call them “Those people who aren’t Trainer Bob & Jillian,” because let’s face it…that’s what the rest of you are calling them, too.

For the night’s first challenge we find Sami Brady nicely bundled & prepared for the rain, whereas Team Purple seems to be standing in it, sans umbrella.  OK, that’s just rude.  NBC, let’s find color-coordinated umbrellas for our Biggest Losers, shall we?   And then we have black vans, a bunch of smack talking (are we loving Courtney from the Aqua team?  We are.), the balancing of eggs on frying pans clearly purchased from Big Lots, and the winning of a prize:  lunch cooked by some dude named Curtis Stone.  Since I’m a Biggest Loser newbie the name Curtis Stone means nothing to me but Team Purple’s Hannah tells all of America, “God carved him from cream cheese.”  Fat-free cream cheese, right?  I mean, this is The Biggest Loser.

Team Aqua wins the challenge (yay, Marcy!), while The Others give it to Deni (Team Pink), which is nice of them.  I’m saddened for Team Purple, but then Trainer Bob’s Turbo Tax commercial comes on & I fire my CPA on the spot.

Meanwhile back at the Ranch (OK, y’all…cut me some slack!  It only took me 3 posts to use that phrase) we see Team Purple working it out like nobody’s business.  And because they’re so hard-working and beautiful Trainer Bob is all, “Let’s go outside to talk.”  Clearly Hannah & Olivia are Bob’s favorites and none of us are surprised by this news.

Then…I get on my knees for Bob Harper and love him more than I ever imagined possible because he is so unbelievably good to our girls.  Hannah & Olivia take turns sharing their stories with Bob (Olivia’s was not shown on air–but we have it here for you!) and as we cried along with them, Bob encouraged Team Purple to “find out what your new dreams are…it’s time to make a dream come true!“‘

Dream ladies, Dream!

The Biggest Loser – Ep 1103: Week 3 – Purple’s Worry – Video – NBC.com.

BOB FOR KING OF THE UNIVERSE.  Pass me a Kleenex, will you?

Marcy and Deni meet Curtis Stone and he cooks for them.  He also prepares the ladies a delicious, healthy lunch.  Also, Curtis Stone is not carved of fat-free cream cheese.  I said that before seeing him. Curtis Stone is full-fat Philadelphia cream cheese.

There’s also a challenge taking place while Curtis cooks but I couldn’t keep up with that.  I mean…Curtis Stone is Australian and has surfer hair and he made pan-seared halibut and I’m all, “WHY HAVE I NEVER WATCHED THIS SHOW UNTIL THIS YEAR?”  Congrats to Marcy for winning a two pound advantage at the next weigh-in.  And for getting to hug Chef Stone.  Was the made of stone, Marcy?  ‘Cause you know I’m going to ask it of you.

We find our Biggest Losers facing yet another challenge and Team Purple provides, as per usual, the soundbite of the night:  Hannah sees the row of big basins and hopes for a hot tub.   Who wouldn’t?  But Olivia, the voice of reason, reminds her, “It’s never a hot tub.”  This is logic that can be applied to life at many junctures, of course.  Y’all…sometimes it’s just never a hot tub.

The challenge commences and Hannah deems it, “Straight up Little House on the Prairie-style.”  Does this mean Jillian is Nellie Oleson?  Because Bob is totally Almanzo.  Sigh…”Manly.”

That's Hot!

Team Purple and Aqua work well together.  Heck, they’re all working well together.  Dr. Jack Shepherd was right:  live together, die alone.   Another challenge completed.  And then there’s predictable drama in the house (Jillian is OVER it and so are we…I’m sure Team Purple is over it, too!) and we move on to the last chance workout.  In which Jillian proceeds to literally walk all over Olivia and Hannah.  In this context I am OK with it.  Walk all over Team Purple, Jillian.  DO IT.

And then it’s weigh-in time and you lovely purple people, lose the same as you did last time, a whopping 6 lbs! Again also, the purple ladies lose the same exact amount, which is a bit insane. As Bob says, “Those sisters are insync!” However, they’re not the only ones who are insync. Some people brought their excessive drama to the weigh in–Team Purple brought their excessive awesome, as evidenced by their consistent shedding of pounds & their always positive attitudes.

The second elimination round goes by and there are no surprises. Those go, who wanted to go. Most importantly, the purple, “insync” sisters made it through another round and WE ALL REJOICE!

“I Am Gonna Puke In This Place!”

11 Jan

Dear Team Purple:

How do you start a blog about a Team on a Show that is called the Biggest Loser? Having plenty of experience LIVE and other Blogging about LOST over the last couple of seasons, we inevitably realized that we clearly could not LIVE blog to the Biggest Loser, not just because it’s not LOST (bless LOST), but also because one cannot type while watching a dear friend and her sister who are on the Biggest Loser. Why you might ask? Well tears and typing don’t mix, Dammit. Why is this show so filled with tears? Oh right, it’s the life changing goings on, but WOW.

Having not seen much of The Biggest Loser we had no clue what to expect, other than folks busting boo-tay to lose weight.  We knew we’d cry, because our friend would be opening her heart and sharing her life, weighing on a ginormous scale while wearing bike shorts and a sports bra, and being pushed to extreme limits by two of the most famous trainers on the planet, all in front of millions of people.  She’d cry, we’d cry, Sami Brady would be crying, and you’d well up with tears.  Admit it.

But we also knew we’d all laugh, because my girl, Olivia Ward, and her sister, Hannah Curlee, would be bringing their southern sass into the homes of America, and what the world needs now is more southern sass.  Amen.

Watching the first episode of this new Season brought forth many feelings, tears, thoughts and of course, observations. However, clearly the world needs observations from a Biggest Loser Newbie to revel in, just as the show is starting its 11th Season. Lula is  just the person to share those with you:

*Bob Harper is H-O-T.  I mean, please.  Why have y’all been holding out on me?  Olivia and Janet and I have spent far too many hours discussing our love of a particular Swede but I’m now adding the trainer from Tennessee to our collective Freebie Five.  For real.

Hey there, I'm just a HOT guy you didn't know about.

*Someone needs to get me the brand & shade of Jillian’s lip gloss, as it is fabulous.  And by “someone,” I clearly mean Olivia, as she is the Make-Up Goddess.

*The Brita water bottles used by the contestants for rehydration are straight up hideous.  Can Brita not provide bottles which match each team’s prospective color?  (Purple, REPRESENT!)  If not, may I politely suggest to NBC that this might be a job for the nice people at PUR?  Is all I’m saying.

*When Olivia spoke of “going to the Ranch,” I pictured her working out at this industrial-type gym in the middle of a barren desert, surrounded by tumbleweeds, cactus, bales of hay, and maybe a few horses.  Imagine my surprise to learn that “the Ranch” is decorated with wrought-iron light fixtures, flowers and topiary trees.  It essentially looks like a resort.  This “Ranch” is awesome.

*Alison Sweeney is pretty in pink, and it might be unprofessional and fangirly of me to refer to her as “Sami Brady.”  But as Alice Horton as my witness, she will always be Samantha Brady to me.   (OH MY STARS, Team Purple has met Sami Brady!  And so our the days of your lives.)

What I learned from my first two hours of The Biggest Loser:

*Jillian is badass.  She is also not a woman who gives a sh*t.  This is a lesson we will all do well to remember.

*Bob is badass.  He is also tenderhearted.  Who didn’t appreciate his walk with Arthur?  Bob is training our friend, y’all!  That’s just awesome right there.

*Jillian would be an awesome Quidditch beater.  For Gryffindor, of course.

*Hands down, the best one-liners of the episode came from Team Purple.  No surprise there!  Let’s review some of their gems, shall we?

–“I thought this was Biggest Loser,” says Hannah.  “But apparently this is pick your own trainer–who’s behind door #2?” scoffs Olivia.

–“Really?  You’re gonna give up Bob & Jillian?” Olivia is incredulous.  So were we.  And we get it. Four weeks of immunity is an awesome gift.  But so is looking at Bob and Jillian for even just 1 week.  Wait, I said looking.   Of course I mean training.  Ahem.

–“Somebody lost a kindergartner!” “A kindergartner and a bulldog!”  Hannah & Olivia, upon learning that someone who was trained by the “unknown trainers” lost 41 pounds.

As the episode ended and we knew that both Olivia and Hannah were safely ensconced at the Ranch for another week, we agreed with Olivia’s assessment of their weight loss (16 pounds apiece):  “That is not shabby!”  Yes, that is not shabby at all!  Though neither of us have watched this show much before, clearly it will be our weekly Tuesday date  and of course we’ll use this show as our LOST replacement cheer for you to be above the yellow line.

 Our friend and her sister pushed a Chevy truck around a ranch in California.  What did you do this week?  

Outside Pushing Our Cars Down The Street,
Lula & Jane