Tag Archives: Someone needs a new stylist

NBC Wants Us to Not Like the Red Team, We Can’t Help It

9 Mar

Dear Team Purple:

In an effort to actually blog on time, our dearest Lula and I decided to LIVE Blog via GChat. We laughed together, we cried together, we prayed together, we screamed together, we made up stories together while bored (Red Team) and we compared ya’ll to LOST, as we should. Boy was this one a total nail biter. So very glad we made it through together. So at last, I bring you Random LIVE Blogging with Jane and Lula:

Jane:  And to begin

Hannah is amazing, but she needs to not argue with Jillian. Duh

Lula:  YES.

Jane:  Hannah you are capable!

4 reasons you do it

1) Tall and thin enough

2) Knowledge….what else?  I missed it…

Lula:  BECAUSE SHE’S SCARLETT O’HANNAH

I’m tweeting that.

 Jane:  that is it. And you know what Jill is right.  mean she does look aazing

that was amazing

Oh crap she’s making me want to get teary

I could watch the Hannah Banana show all seasn*  (*editor note – Jane is notorious for bad grammer and spelling. If it wasn’t in here, Olivia wouldn’t believe it was Jane)

 Lula:  She gon’ make me cry

 Jane:  How excited is it that Marci is now the captain? They needed a leader on that carebear team

I also think that I need to keep all bad spellings and grammer. That way Olivia will know it’s really me (*SEE)

Jane:  How much do I lovethat my Mama calls Jillian, Jill. Bless her heart. She called me as I was leaving work and she kept talking about “Jill”. Hhaha

OLIVIA!

Lula:  Look at her apron!

Jane:  Betty Crocker O

Lula:  BETTY CROCKER.

Jane:  They called her OB

Love it!

 Lula:  MAMA OLIVIA and her SIX GIRLS!  Bless it.

Jane:  Bless it. Hummus…I wants it

Spin Bike YES

Lula:  “WHAT WOULD A MOM DO?”  And now Obird is gonna make me cry.  Because we know.  WE KNOW.

I am screaming.  Please love me through it.

Jane:  She will be the greatst Mama, WE KNOW

Lula:  WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

See!  We KNOW!

WE KNOW THIS, JANET.  Oh, dear God.  Let’s just cry now.

(apparant crying ensues)

Jane:  Is it wrong that I want to yawn now?

Lula:  NO.  That they kept Kaylee (however you spell it) when she lost only 1 pound and sent Arthur home is RUDE.

(Marta just tweeted something awesome–we need to quote her.)* (* Never did find out what that was. LIVE blogging is fast)

Jane:  RUDE

I just told off Chris Weitz on Twitter. He tweets now Olivia and he kind of loses control. Doesn’t he know the Team Purple show is on?

I am a little bored still….”Family”

 Lula:  THE FAMILY STUFF IS LAME.COM <http://LAME.COM&gt;

 Jane:  Ewww Mud!

 Lula:  Also, Justin is NOT INSPIRING.

Jane:  NOT

I just said, “NOT” like that was a thoughtful comment

Ken is cooking?Hmmm

I forgot to eat lunch today, it sucks

I am hungry now.

I wonder if they use http://www.myfitnesspal.com like I do

Lula:  We had a BL supper–from the BL cookbook.

it was not so good, but hey–low calorie, low fat, LOW TASTE.  dangit.

Jane:  Was it Olivia nd not Ken based? Cause Olivia is Queen Cook

Not all the time…..Low clorie can be tasty! Really. But sometimes you get a bad one.

BURN

Gets my BURN

FREE ADVERTISING!! Now what do I get?

I type a bunch

Lula:  it was steamed brown rice (so boring) and steamed cut corn (no butter–lame) and chicken breast breaded with panko.  it was ok.  but not so tasty

Jane:  Why can’t they say when they went home? I mean some people know (and I am keepig this comment in)

It was during a hard time where people eat a lot people. I think i should be mentioned. But not by me

*it should be mentioned

Lula:  think what should be mentioned?

wait–confused.

Jane:  When the time at home was

During which period

CHALLENGE time

What does Sami have on?

Oh Sami…no

The hat!

Lula:  OH, SAMI. 

HALE NO.

That hat is ridiculous.  She knows better.  Marlena taught her better.

Jane:  What the heck are they gonna do with $6000 on campus

I don’t get the cash prize stuff while they are there

OK people Strateejury

Lula:  STRA TEE JURY.

Be right back–gotta kiss my girls.

Jane:  GO!

That’s right JEN. Red is NO victory

Lula:  back

Jane:  This is gross, and taking a while

Lula:  that is some GOO

and not GOO like our GOO

but goo like gross goo

Jane:  Gross GOO

I hope someone falls

DON’t Pannick

What on earth am I supposed to write

Lula:  “3 Foot Log”  TWSS

Jane:  OLIVIA “That Guy” YES!

That’s what we all think

Lula:  YES. i’ll tweet that. (The TWSS went completly over my head -Jane)

Jane:  Olivia sometimes it is difficult not to write things that are derogatory (sp?) to the Red Team

Love me through it…I just wanna cheer for you

BLACK WINS!

Lula:  WINNER WINNER LOW-FAT CHICKEN DINNER!

Jane:  New make-up with $6K

An executive chef?

Lula:  Think of all the MAC O and Hannah can buy with that money.

More FREE advertising, ahem

 Jane:  On what?

Ohh you said MAC, WAIT! That’s make-up I know that

Lula:  Yes–MAC.  It’s Olivia’s make-up of choice.  And Norah’s, too.

Jane:  <<— Make-up dumb

Oh wow! The Red Team WOW

I am glad I on’t have to love them

Poor Ken talking about snacks. Hey it’s Product Placment time!

Lula:  THESE COMMERCIALS ARE LAME

And the red team is…ah, I’ll be nice.

Jane:  So I think some of my vowels on my keyboard are sticking. It’s not just that I am a bad typer

Lula:  And be quiet.

Jane:  Although I can’t soell

Lula:  soell

ha!

Jane:  UGGHH

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You gotta get your burn, and the Others return to the Ranch

1 Feb

Dear Team Purple:

No, I'm not offereing free advertising so you'll send me there, nope, not all.

So after weeks of pitching the “others” over at the Malibu Fitness Ridge, we get to see the trainers who train the others, Cara, a New Yorker, sounding a bit Rosie Perez-esq and Brett who is easy on the eyes, but clearly no Bob Harper. The two trainers were certainly nothing to hold as a mystery for all this time, NBC. They’re not ex Biggest Loser trainers, not famous Ex Biggest Loser contestants, or any other famous people. They were just, you know…trainers.

So having met the trainers, we get to see more of their training style, which seems to consist of rope juggling, calisthenics, and boxing training….interesting, but nothing we haven’t seen Bob and Jillian do in the past really. Again, why the secret? Were they kept under wraps in the hopes that Cara would learn better make-up tips before you reveal her to the world? (Yes, I went there, I am sorry, even I know too much under eye cover-up is a bad move). Or was it to cerate drama? Well, we all know the answer and drama shmama, I’m moving on.

But before moving on, we have to watch the others train some. Apparently, Q from the red team is annoyed that sitting around and cheering on his teammates while they box, is not “getting him his burn.” Q walks away to try and find some more exercises to go through. While I can’t blame him for not wanting to stand around and watch others exercise, instead of getting his “burn” perhaps he shouldn’t have handled his annoyance with the teamwork/cheering each other on, training session that Cara was employing that day so childishly, but enough about the others. Bad attitudes and make-up, I’m bored.

Back at the ranch (yes, I get to write it out this week) we see all of Team Billian’s folks working it. Bob takes out some folks, mainly Dan or is it Don, whomever of the 2 is remaining, Jesse and some others to run his circuit. They are pushing it hard and not taking names.

Next we go into the gym to see more of Team Jillian, including you ladies, TEAM PURPLE! Jillian describes a little of the fear she sees in Hannah as she does certain back exercises and we hear a little bit about, you Hannah and who you were in the earlier 90’s. God Bless the 90’s. Thankfully, you didn’t have the big hair like I did and you were instead, a cute, smily thing who rocked at volley ball. They showed us several of your awesome serving shots and a magazine page with your picture. You explained your story of the accident and how your disks in your back were in pieces. Sooo sad. Several of my new Twitter friends agreed while watching this show and said that they really empathized with you and your struggle with weight loss post a serious injury. Luckily…..JILLIAN TO THE RESCUE.

Totally NOT Hannah but shows another awesome backbend. A way cute kid though, right?

Jillian, having recognized your struggles, sees that she has to show you that you are strong and your body is healed. And in a move that any simple grade schooler can do, she changed your life. I love it. In tears we all tweet how proud we are of you and your back bend. We see it in Olivia’s appreciative smile to Jillian and the tears in her eyes. It shows how much this means to you and to her. AMAZING. With that, I could turn off the show for the week. I am done! Continue reading