Dear Purple Team:
After last week’s weigh-in debacle, with the Don and Dan drama, we are more than ready for this week’s challenges and excitement. However, unlike when LOST aired last year, Prez Obama did not postpone his SOTU address, in order to accommodate two hours of the Biggest Loser (or as Jane’s Mom calls it, “The Greatest Loser). Clearly, he has not gotten the memo about the Biggest Loser being the true LOST replacement. Totally annoying, but as many of our Twitterer watching partners pointed out, the one hour time frame did make the show move a little faster.
Nevertheless, we start off knowing the show will end an hour earlier and the various teams, other than you girls, attack Don for his manipulation of the scale. Bless our Hannah, who remains the only one of the group to ask, if there’s something she could do to help poor 9 lbs gaining, Don. By the way, what do you think he did to gain the 9lbs? I came up with several suggestions, like stuffing his shorts with sand, wearing 9lb glasses, or guzzling 9lbs of water before weighing in (can you even do that). Enough with the lameness, even though I am quite flummoxed by how the gaining occurred, we move on to the 1st day back in the gym and Sami Brady shows up.
Sami has a special challenge for our teams and our purple ladies. She has a fully stocked locker of Dahrma food of all the player’s favorite foods. We have pizza, mac & cheese (from the box, yugggg), cheesecake, and alas–MONKEY BREAD!
Now if you’ve ever been any kind of good southern kitchen worth its weight in butter, you’ve had yourselves some monkey bread. Olivia, of course described its texture and deliciousness to Sami, because evidently they don’t make good homemade baked goods in Salem. But we’ll love her through it. And alas, Sami and the Biggest Loser watching world, now know the delicacy, Monkey Bread and all is right with the world.
Not to be out done by the glorious monkey bread our girls give us another one of the best quotes of the night, when they are locked into the “food pantry”. Just as Hannah starts to turn her head away from Olivia’s, to gaze at her favorite cheesecake, you dear Olivia stop her to say, “Does any of this look as good as a hot guy?” All of America screams, NO for you, Hannah. And you all pass your test hand in hand.
Next there is a new challenge involving guessing the total amount of calories for 5 of the temptation challenge items. The calorie total has to be guessed then hoisted up a flag pole type device and a button is pressed that will blink green for correct and red for incorrect. The green team comes over from Team Otherton to be included for this challenge and has to compete by themselves vs the rest of their old Ranch mates. However, via an easier pulley system or something, the difficulty in hoisting the numbers is equalled out, you just have to guess the right carlorie total number. In this challenge, the winner will get mail from home and we all rejoice at home, hoping you’ll get our letters and cards!! Wahoooo.