Middle Earth, Clearly….and “Purple Moments are NOT Boring”

Aramisette, is this the BOB you love, right here?

Middle Earth = NZ, duh

8:00 PM Jane: Wait are we here?

 Lula:   hey, JANE

  ok, here we go!!!!!

  Look, it’s BOB.

  aramisette, we always refer to BOB in all caps.

 Jane: YO ya’ll!

 Aramisette: k

 Jane: It’s time

8:01 PM We have Ms. Aramisette with us tonight to share in her awesomeness

 Aramisette: Draamaaaaa

 Lula: DRAMZ.

 Jane: “Trainer” is that what we are calling Brett now?

 Aramisette: oh yes it CAN Tara

 Lula: YAY, MARTA IS OUR PEOPLE.

  No, we are calling Brett, Buh-Bye.

  (Mean)

 Aramisette: Durh

  EEEeeeeeep!!!!!

 Jane: Watch their faces!

 Aramisette: So

  Freaking

  JELLY!

 Lula: Um, hi.

8:02 PM Please go to Middle Earth. JEALOUS.

  Awesome.

 Jane: SOOO exciting. O just gave an O face

 Aramisette: have other seasons gone anywhere?

  HA! Jane

  I didn’t watch BL before this

 Jane: Ummm wait, did she just say, “NZ I have heard of it” like it is a book

  Oh no

 Aramisette: hahaha

8:03 PM Lula: I don’t know if they’ve ever gone anywhere

  but oh dear–Kaylee. no.

 Jane: OK, yes Marta I think they have gone places before

  But not sure. We’ll ask Jen from BL

 Lula: Olivia deserves luxury. let’s just say it now.

 Aramisette: whaaaat?

  Oh Hannah

  not good

 Lula: GO OLIVIA.

  craptastic.

 Aramisette: Noooooo

8:04 PM Jane: Awww shucks

 Lula: He seriously needs a new did. Love his heart.

 Aramisette: I wonder if he makes it to makeover week

 Jane: PURTTY

 Look at how skinny O’s face is.

(Apparently we’re admiring O’s face for a bit)

8:06 PM Aramisette: very cool that Hannah and Olivia got to go to NZ together

 Jane: Awww Moses knows about Auckland

 Aramisette: of course!

  it’s part of his history

  i like Alison’s hair btw

 Jane: How much do we love Sami’s belt

 Aramisette: bungee jumping!!

 Lula: ADVENTURE!

8:07 PM Jane: I really liked Sami’s outfit too!

  Finally adventure

 Aramisette: how long arethey in NZ?

 Lula: Yes, loved Sami Brady’s outfit. Very Spring-y.

  It takes like 2 days to fly there…18 hour flight, but then you gotta adjust your body clock and all that mess.

 Aramisette: Ha!

  DearTeamPurple

8:08 PM Aramisette: “They’re in Middle Earth:”

  BWahahaha

 Lula: ROSIE PEREZ

 Aramisette: SO TRUE

  she’s a tiny lil Rosie Perez

 Jane: Look at them running up them stairs. Amazing

 Lula: Jane named her that–Rosie Perez, Jr. so genius

 Jane: YOU ARE HANNAH!!

8:09 PM Aramisette: RP Jr

 Jane: Hannah you are NOT annoying ever…someone else we know who talks like ROsie is annoying

  Poor Ken, bless it

 Lula: Oh, KEN.

 Aramisette: BOB

 Jane: BOB

  jinx

 Lula: BOB is on top.

  TWSS.

 Aramisette: snort

  i love him and his smiling face and tatoos

 Lula: And Olivia is up there with him.

 Jane: Oh no I am worried for Jikk

8:10 PM jill

 Aramisette: shuuuut the fuck up

  holy shiiiiiit

  COMMERCIAL

 Lula: Ken is gonna pass out.

 Jane: That was crazy

  I thought you said Ken just passed out, then I reread

 Lula: and lemme tell y’all–unless Jason or Henry or Alex was waiting to catch me, I would NOT DO THAT SHIZ.

 Jane: He prob did

8:11 PM No way….never

  Marta would you do that bungee stuff?

 Aramisette: maybe?

  i dunno

  i don’t mind rides and stuff

 Jane: Really? My bro did once, but I don’t think I’d do that

 Aramisette: not sure about bumgee jumping

  *bungee

  hahaha

8:12 PM BUMgee

 Jane: I like rides too, but bungee just seems bad for me to try, I feel like I will get hurt, I ALWAYS GET HURT

  BUMGEE sound funnn

 Lula: I don’t mind rides–but that ain’t no ride

 Aramisette: i know

Lula: that is FREE FALLING

  no way.

 Aramisette: fear of my back or neck snapping the wrong way 😕

  

8:13 PM U are double tweeting LA!

 Jane: YES I wanna cruise with BOB

 Aramisette: all the time lately

 Lula: It’s not me. it’s my computer

 Aramisette: BACK

 Jane: Poor Jill

 Lula: Jane–you go tweet from the account since my laptop is sick or some shiz.

  lame.

 Jane: But you are better at tweeting during the show and you know it

 Lula: she is CUSSING. love her.

8:14 PM Jane: Just double tweet!

 Aramisette: whatever LA

 Jane: I like you twice

 Aramisette: u can just delete the doubles

 Lula: i do delete them!

  Moses & Rulon are like, SWEET. So is Jay.

 Jane: That is NUTZ that they can’t do it cause of weight

  Still an issue

 Aramisette: O is like first with her hand up

 Jane: SHe is!

8:15 PM I couldn’t do it, I just couldn’t, but maybe in the moment it would be different

 Lula: Coach Olivia–cheering Ken on. BLESS IT.

 Aramisette: yeah

  me too

 Lula: and Bob is probably gonna make me cry.

8:16 PM Jane: He is being amazing, as per the usual

  BOB RULES

 Aramisette: d’awwww

 Lula: BOB

 Aramisette: they’re being buddies

 Lula: OH MY STARS, Y’ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Aramisette: well, we know they didn’t die

  hahaha

 Lula: Olivia is gonna do it!

 Aramisette: she is Monica from Friends

  super control freak

 Jane: Purple Team we are praying for you, even though we know you lived

8:17 PM Aramisette: hahaha

 Jane: SUCH a Monica

 Aramisette: yes

  HOLY FRAAACK

 Jane: Unnatural

  Hahahha

  Ohh BOB

 Lula: UNNATURAL.

  Awesome.

  BOB rocks my world.

 Aramisette: hahahaha

  she’s flaaailing

 Lula: I am so proud of her.

8:18 PM Jane: I just screamed

  I really did with her the whole way

 Lula: IS IT TIGHT ENOUGH?

  Oh, BOB. That is what HE said.

  (Yeah, I said it.)

 Aramisette: he’s like, whyyy?

  oh Bob

8:19 PM it’ll be Ok

 Jane: Hey Maybe Hannah meets a hot NZ guy with a sexy accent

 Aramisette: Oh Jill

  except aging

 Jane: “Exceprt aging”

 Aramisette: hahaha

 Jane: jinx

 Aramisette: dood

  if i went to New Zealand?

  i would so do this

 Jane: I feel for BOB

 Aramisette: once in a lifetime thing

  i’d do everything i could

 Lula: I’d do it if I had a few drinks in me

 Aramisette: YOU CAN DO IT BOB

8:20 PM Jane: BOB will you do me for the BL? Wait, I didn’t say that

  No I DID

 Lula: JANE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

 Aramisette: durtyyyy

 Lula: best line of the night

8:21 PM Jane: I am red, I never talk dirty

 Lula: hey, you might rock his world and he might want a new persuasion

 Aramisette: i want a kiwi accent

 Jane: But he set me up

  YES

 Aramisette: COMMERCIAL

 Jane: Why is it a kiwi? I want to move there. Let’s look into it

 Lula: dude, we looked into going there for our 10th anniversary–

 Aramisette: just the nickname

 Lula: the airfare alone is RIDIC

 Aramisette: lil bro wants to move there

  bad

8:22 PM and live on a farm

 Lula: scott would have to have first or business class due to his longass legs and the flight being so long….

 Aramisette: yeah, if u go

  u do NZ and Australia

 Lula: forget it–like, thousands of dollars

 Aramisette: for like, 3 weeks

  at least

 Lula: but we still say we’re gonna go one day–without our kids

 Aramisette: i get mad at lil bro when he says he’s moving there b/c that means i’ll never see him

8:23 PM Jane: Silly lil bro

  So far I called Lula silly and little bro tonight

  <<<< I AM SILLY

 Lula: oh, Jane–when The Voice premieres, BL is only 1 hour long that night. lame

 Jane: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 Lula: (I am silly)

8:24 PM Jane: Maybe they will combine and put Christina on the bL that night, no?

 Aramisette: just 1 night?

 Lula: i think–just that night

  Xtina needs some Trainer BOB to whip her boo-tay into shape

  so does Cee-Lo but i loves him

8:25 PM Jane: I know. I was being mean. I NEED 2 hours of Olivia.

  And she cheers him on from thousands of feet down.

 Lula: oh heeeeeeeey, random NZ cutie

 Aramisette: HOT

8:26 PM crazy kiwis

 Jane: Very very hot

 Aramisette: with their super hot accents

 Lula: bless it

 Aramisette: i need me one of those adventure men

  GO KEN

 Jane: KEN!! Amazing

 Lula: I hope Jillian jumps on him

8:27 PM Aramisette: so sad that Courtney couldn’t be here 😦

 Jane: Me too.

  I like Jill’s tee-shirt and enthusiasm

  I can’t spell that

8:28 PM Hahah

  Whatever

 Lula: en-thu-seeeeee-as-m.

8:29 PM Jane: Good for you Moses and BOB. Love it!

 Aramisette: Awwwww

 Jane: Tears may be coming, hearing men cry make me cry

 Lula: BOB is the man

8:30 PM Aramisette:  that was weird

 Jane: It was, there must have been more

  Dear BOB: GIVE Olivia the phone!

 Aramisette: ON

8:31 PM Lula: a lot of times, aramisette, Jane and I admit when we’re bord.

 Aramisette: Kiiiiwiiii!

 Lula: bored.

  we’ll say, THIS IS BORING.

 Aramisette: hahaha

 Lula: and then talk about how we love Olivia.

  ain’t no thang

 Jane: And is this where THE pic came from on FB??

  That is very cool

 Aramisette: what ic?

  *pic?

 Jane: Maybe Austin will be a boatsmen

 Lula: the pic on Jillian’s FB that had Jay in it–so we all knew that Jay was the one coming back.

 Jane: Jill had a pic on FB when she went to NZ with everyone and it showed Jay

 Lula: #NoSurprise

 Jane: Hahaha

8:32 PM This looks fun

 Aramisette: what do u mean the one coming back?

  #confuzzled

 Lula: ‘member, Hannah & Rulon brought Jay back to their team cause it was just the 2 of them

  cause he’d been sent home a long time ago

 Aramisette: ooooh

  ok

 Jane: I want to go sailing!

8:33 PM Aramisette: me too

  my mum used to sail

 Lula: me, too. even though this is kinda boring

 Aramisette: i’m like, why did u never teach me?!

 Lula: like–I’d rather see H and O sailing. with hot dudes. and Ben.

 Jane: I love sailing and once dated a guy a month longer cause he had a sailboat

 Aramisette: it’s a MOMENT

  hahaha

 Lula: yes, but sometimes these moments bore us.

 Jane: Ohh Mama should teach you!

 Lula: Especially Kaylee moments.

 Jane: MOMENTS

 Lula: SISTERS.

 Aramisette: purple moments are not boring

8:34 PM Jane: Awwww that TeamPurple moment is GOOOOOO

 Aramisette: WOAH

 Jane: WOW

 Aramisette: holy shit

 Jane: And it just got real

 Aramisette: he just called Tara out

  it’s what we’ve been saying

  no one is as good as BOB and JILL

 Lula: Cara is lame.com <http://lame.com>

 Jane: Ken has discovered Rope Juggling does not a burn get

8:35 PM Aramisette: WOW

  wow

  she was about to cry

 Jane: I know, it does make me feel bad

  Aramisette: hahahaha

  awww Jane

  i mean JODIE

8:36 PM Jane: hehe

 Lula: i have to peeeeeeee….be right back

 Jane: I am writing down my calories from dinner

  I have been eating like a pescatarian

  Is that how you spell it

8:37 PM No meat just fish, veggies, legumes

 Aramisette: i think it’s a different word?

 Jane: Cheese

  Yogurt

 Aramisette: or how long?

 Jane: For like a month maybe

  Nope I think I may have had chicken

  Not sure

 Aramisette: so when u started u were eating meat?

8:38 PM BACK

 Jane: Yeaah

  BACK

  duh

 Aramisette: is it mostly the working out that’s gettign u to lose?

 Jane: Ohh Ken is going to take over here, and it should be interesting!

 Aramisette: i’m scared

  i hate confrontation

 Jane: Me, no. The writing down of calories is what’s helping

8:39 PM Problem or whatever, let’s talk

 Aramisette: eeeep

 Jane: That’s how she starts a cove

  “Very professiona;”

  with an L

8:40 PM Of she is awful, this is very unprofessional.

  She interrupted him

 Aramisette: this is making me feel awkward

  she’s crying

 Jane: Me too. She is a BIT

  What the efff?

 Aramisette: oh my god oh my god oh my god

8:41 PM Jane: GO Jill you are amazing

  She has no sides

 Aramisette: Cara is being unprofessional

 i can’t listen!

 Lula: sorry, back

 had to kiss the girls goodnight

 8:42 PM Lula: dude, i missed DRAMZ already

 Aramisette: hahaha

  i am so bad

 Jane: YOU DID

 Aramisette:BIG OOPS

 ew i hate bear crawl

  so awkward

 Jane: Work it!

  Loving O’s stud earrings

8:43 PM Oh good She’s focussing on Ken. Good

  Cara has lots of purple on, but she ain’t Team Purple just sayin

 Lula: oh, but YOU AREN’T.

8:44 PM (as good as BOB & Jillian.)

  #I’mMean

 Jane: O’s a GREAT shopper duh

 Aramisette: she knows how to do everything

 Jane: SHe is a cool cat

8:45 PM Aramisette: i’ve never dieted before

  just altered my life eating

  but yeah

  it’s hard to know what to do when you haven’t had to do it before

8:46 PM Lula: lower calories, up activity

  it’s so simple, yet WHO WANTS TO DO THAT?

  i mean, duh

 Aramisette: i know

  it sucks

8:47 PM Jane: I KNOW

  Writing everything down helps me so much

  And I have been learning I LOVE FISH

  Like love love love it

 Aramisette: it’s pricey tho

 Jane: It is, but I rather have fish over anything else or just like hummus

  and veggies

  or cheese

8:48 PM SO purty

  CHALLENGE

 Lula: love Fish

 Jane: Do we like Sami’s hat?

 Lula: love, love love

  and love it grilled, which is key

  i do not like Sami’s hat

  it’s too much

  she’s trying too hard, I think

 Jane: The matchy matchy

8:49 PM Lula: yes.

 Jane: Five K!!

 Aramisette: it’s Ok

 Lula: change the shirt or change the color in the hat and i’d like it better

  maybe the shirt–

  change it.

 Jane: Hannah loves to run on beaches!

 Lula: OK, done with Sami fashion hour

 Jane: hehe

 Lula: Olivia’s skin looks amazing. I hate her.

 Jane: Running as a TEAM

8:50 PM yuggggg

  When they say lovely lunch it worries me as a contestant

  I would be like how lovely?

  Low calories lovely?

  OK here we go!

  Running

 Lula: healthy lovely

 Aramisette: of course!

8:51 PM it’s the view that’s lovely

 Jane: O is helping Moses along. Amazing

 Lula: LOVELY view. oh my stars, that is amazing

 Jane: Totally amazing

  GO GO GO

 Aramisette: eeeep

8:52 PM Jane: I have a strange question, do men need sports bras too?

  I mean I hurt when I am jiggly all over the place

  Those gurls are cheering on MO

  I love it

 Aramisette: well

  technically no

8:53 PM but they should have them for when they’re that big

 Jane: Running in water. WOW!

 8:54 PM awesome!

 Jane: I love it when Hannah talks to her “old self”

 Crazy times

 Go up the dune dune ya’ll

 Aramisette: oh noes

 Jane: GO MOOOOO!

8:55 PM Aramisette: hooow do they do it?

 Jane: This is scary

  Irene the NINJA

  I love that O is right with MO just talking it through with him

8:56 PM Lula: it’s sometimes hard to walk on sand–much less climb that shiz

 Jane: Did you see what BL Jen just wrote

  “Somebody get in Ken’s face! He needs help!”

 That is the BLBlog girl

  She is our Bloggy friend

  Her name is Jen

8:57 PM She writes some FUNNNNY

HOP Movie Tie-In and Massages, Really?

Dear Team Purple:

Well, it’s obvious there is a theme going now….And now, more LIVE BLOGGING with Jane and Lula:

Lula is offline.

Jane:  Here we are!

Alrighty speak…let me here it

Is it bad that I am already bored?

We are all still one

I love Olivia’s talk about Sami

Lula: PURPLE, YO

Jane:  YEAH!! Olivia on my bday you found out that you were gonna be on the show, I remember.

Lula:  I was in Vegas!!!!

And she called and said, “I’M GOING TO THE BIGGEST LOSER!!!!!”

Jane:  My Bday

Lula:  It was your bday! ‘Member–I couldn’t come party cause of Vegas & O was headed to the Ranch. SADNESS.

I’m crying.

Jane:  These vids are awesome!

STOP CRYING not already

SHANANIGANS!

Yeeeahhh I ❤ shananigans

Jane:  How crazy that they are bringing in these people. CRAZY TIMES and the musak

Crazy

Lula:  The musak is DUMB.

Jane:  That one boy, Vance is a cutie

Lula:  And look how cute Olivia is.

OF COURSE HER NAME IS LEIGH ANNE.

She probably spells it wrong.

Jane: Hehehe But O is always cute

Awwwww wrong LA is a mama and so sweet

Lula:  Sami Brady is saying MY name.

Jane: You lucky duck. I want to be said on the BL

Maybe I can meet her one day and she’ll say my name.

I dig Vance’s deep voice

I wonder if they got trainers too.

Lula:  Let’s make it our life goal to get Sami Brady to say AUNT JANICE!

Jane:  Hey I lost almost 30lbs in 3 months

27lbs now

Court is such a flirt

I love it! Confidence

Lula:  You rock, Jane:. I’m so proud of you.

Jane: “Journeys”

Thanks babe!

Wowzer 45lbs is amazing

So this is the part where Sami makes Kaylee feel guilty

Lula:  We are CRACKING UP at you, Jane:–me and Heather.

And I am proud of Vance & Leann. They are losing weight at a “real life pace.”

Jane:  Yes, Real Life pace is hard like crazy

4 teams, ya’ll

Sami loves metaphor based challenges

Also they love challenges that cause everyone to have to say “Balls” the whole time. Yug

Week Off campus. Pooopers

How many challenges are we having this week?

Don’t leave the ranch O!

Olivia is amazing at this, Go girl

(I just typed a lot of nonsense – Jane)

Lula:  Balls.

Jane: Exactly

But notice Sami calls them “Points”

Lula:  I am DYINg at how small Courtney and Olivia and Hannah are.

Jane: OK, now I am bored, although it is nice seeing the skinny minis

JINX

10 balls…..

GO O!!! GO BLUE

Lula:  BALLS.

Blue Balls.

Jane:  Hahaha

Lula:  (Heheheh.)

(this is where we turned 10 years-old)

Jane:  YAYYY!! Not last.

Go Green

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm this is crapola. Where will Brett take them?

Awww they are going to do EASTER! I love EASTER

Back from commercial

Massage?

The Menu is crazy

AHHHH STRA TEE JURY

Lula:  THIS IS DUMB.

A massage? NO.

NO NO NO.

Jane:  Hahaha

Lula:  I mean, we all want a massage, but they are not out there for some pampering.

Jane:  This is silly, but I want to see how it plays out

Gym Memberships!

WHAAAA?? An hour to call people?

Luxery crap is silly.

They are excluding Brett cause who needs Rope Juggling?

Lula:  I just tweeted that. HELL NO. Heather and I are bothered.

Jane:  Rope Juggling can be done easily done without a trainer, duhhh

That was a silly sentence. GET YOUR CONFIDENCE COURT

Courtney should call Ben for confidence!

Lula:  They’re showing this FOR A REASON, Jane:. The shiz is gonna hit the fan. You wait.

Jane:  Yes, seriously

Lula:  Um….THEY BROUGHT THIS ON THEMSELVES.

Jane: Totally on themselves..even Brett says this is bad. Where is Jill? She would kick their ASS

Ohh I call Jillian Jill now, in honor of my mother

Court call BEN!

BEN breaks walls

 

So, We All Zone Out During the Challenges & We Say Good-bye to the Mama

Dear Team Purple, Black, Blue…

Hello my lovely team purple members and avid blog followers (editor’s note – hahahaha) . This is @brookelockart filling in this week, giving Jane a break from blogging. Hannah, you don’t know me, but I’m one of those “book club” friends of Olivia’s. I’m also on the mission to make you an east coast girl, so prepare yourself! 

We heart "book club"!

Sorry for the late post, but it’s been one of those weeks, then it was one of those weekends when you get totally sucked into a book all the sudden it’s Tuesday and you haven’t posted (but you’ve read a series of 5 books…), I digress.

Similar to Lula and Janet, this is my first full season of watching the biggest loser. I’ve watched episodes here or there but do people always change colors this often?  So this week you all became one big team, I’m all for team unity, but now I can’t change the channel when the red team came on (kill me, I like Glee). 

As a team, you are supposed to lose more total weight than both teams did the week prior. If you do, no one goes home. Yes! I’m pumped. I have faith! Ahh, but the body is tricky and I swear all you girls are on the rag at the same time. Water weight bloat sucks!

This week’s episode shows before and after pictures for each of the contestants at their current weight loss. I’m just amazed at some of their progress. You can really see it in Rulon’s face. Olivia, you are of course looking fabulous and Hannah, soooo skinny.

There’s a challenge, I zone out. Teams appear to be struggling. Wait, the could lose it. OH! They win the challenge by mere seconds. Goooo Blue team! This will give the team some advantage at the weigh in.

When all is said and done, as a group they are unable to pull it off.  Someone must go home and it’s between Marci and Kaylee.  Kaylee gained 2 pounds (see previous on the rag comment) and Marci stays the same. Marci pleads for everyone to send her home, save Kaylee. Well, this just does it. I cry, I get emotional; I want a mom like Marci. Courtney is a very lucky girl. Marci is voted off and is not the biggest loser.

Yes, that is an OLE cake. DON't EAT IT

Well girls, you are safe for another week. I wonder if you’ll all stay as one team or change back. Maybe they’ll switch it up completely. Regardless, you have our support.

Ole!
Brooke

You gotta get your burn, and the Others return to the Ranch

Dear Team Purple:

No, I'm not offereing free advertising so you'll send me there, nope, not all.

So after weeks of pitching the “others” over at the Malibu Fitness Ridge, we get to see the trainers who train the others, Cara, a New Yorker, sounding a bit Rosie Perez-esq and Brett who is easy on the eyes, but clearly no Bob Harper. The two trainers were certainly nothing to hold as a mystery for all this time, NBC. They’re not ex Biggest Loser trainers, not famous Ex Biggest Loser contestants, or any other famous people. They were just, you know…trainers.

So having met the trainers, we get to see more of their training style, which seems to consist of rope juggling, calisthenics, and boxing training….interesting, but nothing we haven’t seen Bob and Jillian do in the past really. Again, why the secret? Were they kept under wraps in the hopes that Cara would learn better make-up tips before you reveal her to the world? (Yes, I went there, I am sorry, even I know too much under eye cover-up is a bad move). Or was it to cerate drama? Well, we all know the answer and drama shmama, I’m moving on.

But before moving on, we have to watch the others train some. Apparently, Q from the red team is annoyed that sitting around and cheering on his teammates while they box, is not “getting him his burn.” Q walks away to try and find some more exercises to go through. While I can’t blame him for not wanting to stand around and watch others exercise, instead of getting his “burn” perhaps he shouldn’t have handled his annoyance with the teamwork/cheering each other on, training session that Cara was employing that day so childishly, but enough about the others. Bad attitudes and make-up, I’m bored.

Back at the ranch (yes, I get to write it out this week) we see all of Team Billian’s folks working it. Bob takes out some folks, mainly Dan or is it Don, whomever of the 2 is remaining, Jesse and some others to run his circuit. They are pushing it hard and not taking names.

Next we go into the gym to see more of Team Jillian, including you ladies, TEAM PURPLE! Jillian describes a little of the fear she sees in Hannah as she does certain back exercises and we hear a little bit about, you Hannah and who you were in the earlier 90’s. God Bless the 90’s. Thankfully, you didn’t have the big hair like I did and you were instead, a cute, smily thing who rocked at volley ball. They showed us several of your awesome serving shots and a magazine page with your picture. You explained your story of the accident and how your disks in your back were in pieces. Sooo sad. Several of my new Twitter friends agreed while watching this show and said that they really empathized with you and your struggle with weight loss post a serious injury. Luckily…..JILLIAN TO THE RESCUE.

Totally NOT Hannah but shows another awesome backbend. A way cute kid though, right?

Jillian, having recognized your struggles, sees that she has to show you that you are strong and your body is healed. And in a move that any simple grade schooler can do, she changed your life. I love it. In tears we all tweet how proud we are of you and your back bend. We see it in Olivia’s appreciative smile to Jillian and the tears in her eyes. It shows how much this means to you and to her. AMAZING. With that, I could turn off the show for the week. I am done!

The One Where America Learns of the Delicacy Known as Monkey Bread & “none of this stuff looks as good as a hot guy”

Dear Purple Team: 

After last week’s weigh-in debacle, with the Don and Dan drama, we are more than ready for this week’s challenges and excitement. However, unlike when LOST aired last year, Prez Obama did not postpone his SOTU address, in order to accommodate two hours of the Biggest Loser (or as Jane’s Mom calls it, “The Greatest Loser). Clearly, he has not gotten the memo about the Biggest Loser being the true LOST replacement. Totally annoying, but as many of our Twitterer watching partners pointed out, the one hour time frame did make the show move a little faster.

Nevertheless, we start off knowing the show will end an hour earlier and the various teams, other than you girls, attack Don for his manipulation of the scale. Bless our Hannah, who remains the only one of the group to ask, if there’s something she could do to help poor 9 lbs gaining, Don. By the way, what do you think he did to gain the 9lbs? I came up with several suggestions, like stuffing his shorts with sand, wearing 9lb glasses, or guzzling 9lbs of water before weighing in (can you even do that). Enough with the lameness, even though I am quite flummoxed by how the gaining occurred, we move on to the 1st day back in the gym and Sami Brady shows up.

Dharma Monkey Bread? Yes, please!

Sami has a special challenge for our teams and our purple ladies. She has a fully stocked locker of Dahrma food of all the player’s favorite foods. We have pizza, mac & cheese (from the box, yugggg), cheesecake, and alas–MONKEY BREAD!

Now if you’ve ever been any kind of good southern kitchen worth its weight in butter, you’ve had yourselves some monkey bread. Olivia, of course described its texture and deliciousness to Sami, because evidently they don’t make good homemade baked goods in Salem. But we’ll love her through it. And alas, Sami and the Biggest Loser watching world, now know the delicacy, Monkey Bread and all is right with the world.

Not to be out done by the glorious monkey bread our girls give us another one of the best quotes of the night, when they are locked into the “food pantry”. Just as Hannah starts to turn her head away from Olivia’s, to gaze at her favorite cheesecake, you dear Olivia stop her to say, “Does any of this look as good as a hot guy?” All of America screams, NO for you, Hannah. And you all pass your test hand in hand.

Feel the Love! Feel the Power!

No one thinks of eating not even Dan/Don or whoever. Until…….Arthur. If you had to guess from the beginning who might eat, I think we would have all guessed Arthur, I am sorry to say. Ohhh Arthur. Bless it.  At least it was just a chicken wing And now that he ate, Arthur has to choose which team to send over to the “Barracks” with the Orthers. For no rhyme or reason he choses the green team, father/daughter, Jay and Jen. Well, there it is and there they go. I am sad they have to leave their friends to go to the other team, but I can’t help thinking they’re getting a great advantage in gameplay.

 

Then I wrote a bunch of stuff here and it got erased and I cannot remember what I wrote. My computer hates me clearly. I do remember it had to do with how awesome Team Purple is, and how I liked the Courtney bonding time with her mom and how cushy the Others had it over at the “barracks”. But anyhow…..

Next there is a new challenge involving guessing the total amount of calories for 5 of the temptation challenge items. The calorie total has to be guessed then hoisted up a flag pole type device and a button is pressed that will blink green for correct and red for incorrect. The green team comes over from Team Otherton to be included for this challenge and has to compete by themselves vs the rest of their old Ranch mates. However, via an easier pulley system or something, the difficulty in hoisting the numbers is equalled out, you just have to guess the right carlorie total number. In this challenge, the winner will get mail from home and we all rejoice at home, hoping you’ll get our letters and cards!! Wahoooo.

The Ranchers vs Team Green begin. There’s screaming on the Ranchers and realize that the Green Team can hear them if they scream what numbers they choose next. Uh oh….team work isn’t the Ranchers strong suit as we’ve seen with that crazy raft challenge. Watching the wrong numbers being hoisted up and having to bring them back down again makes us feel the pain in your eyes. So frustrating! But excellent exercise!

 

So finally, our Rancher team, including you ladies get the calorie amounts correct and win the challenge. Letters explode overhead all over the Ranchers. I look to find the stuff I know that has been sent your way. Seeing your arms filled with mail, brightens my spirit. I know you feel loved. The producers let you, Olivia, read an excellent letter from dear Ben and our eyes (even Jane’s) tear up. Others read some mail as well, Arthur from his kids, Dan/Don from his not so nice son, and on. It’s awesome. What a great way to end the show!

Like I said, no weigh-ins tonight, no kicking off of anyone, no losing of anything or anyone, just loveing notes from home. It makes me feel all loving and toasty, just remembering. Until next week, where there are two weigh-ins, two people possibly being sent home, and the return of the Others to the ranch. We’re not alone anymore, ladies.               

                       

Hoping there’s room for eveyone at the table next week,

Janet and Lula

               

PS I heard Jillian say, “God Bless” this week. Bless her heart.

“It’s Never A Hot Tub.”

Dear Team Purple:

A theme emerged in episode three of Biggest Loser Season 11, and that’s “Live together, die alone.”  We also met the Others for the first time.

And you know any time we can work in a reference to Lost we are totally going to do it, because Jane, Lula, and our own Olivia (Team Purple!) still lament the loss of our beloved show. You are required to love us through it.  Thank you.

Team Purple, along with the rest of the peeps training with Bob & Jillian, proved the power of teamwork, while Cara and Ben Brett were finally revealed to the audience as The New Trainers, over at the Dharma camp Red Barn.  (Dun-dun-duuuuuuun.)  I like to call them “Those people who aren’t Trainer Bob & Jillian,” because let’s face it…that’s what the rest of you are calling them, too.

For the night’s first challenge we find Sami Brady nicely bundled & prepared for the rain, whereas Team Purple seems to be standing in it, sans umbrella.  OK, that’s just rude.  NBC, let’s find color-coordinated umbrellas for our Biggest Losers, shall we?   And then we have black vans, a bunch of smack talking (are we loving Courtney from the Aqua team?  We are.), the balancing of eggs on frying pans clearly purchased from Big Lots, and the winning of a prize:  lunch cooked by some dude named Curtis Stone.  Since I’m a Biggest Loser newbie the name Curtis Stone means nothing to me but Team Purple’s Hannah tells all of America, “God carved him from cream cheese.”  Fat-free cream cheese, right?  I mean, this is The Biggest Loser.

Team Aqua wins the challenge (yay, Marcy!), while The Others give it to Deni (Team Pink), which is nice of them.  I’m saddened for Team Purple, but then Trainer Bob’s Turbo Tax commercial comes on & I fire my CPA on the spot.

Meanwhile back at the Ranch (OK, y’all…cut me some slack!  It only took me 3 posts to use that phrase) we see Team Purple working it out like nobody’s business.  And because they’re so hard-working and beautiful Trainer Bob is all, “Let’s go outside to talk.”  Clearly Hannah & Olivia are Bob’s favorites and none of us are surprised by this news.

Then…I get on my knees for Bob Harper and love him more than I ever imagined possible because he is so unbelievably good to our girls.  Hannah & Olivia take turns sharing their stories with Bob (Olivia’s was not shown on air–but we have it here for you!) and as we cried along with them, Bob encouraged Team Purple to “find out what your new dreams are…it’s time to make a dream come true!“‘

Dream ladies, Dream!

The Biggest Loser – Ep 1103: Week 3 – Purple’s Worry – Video – NBC.com.

BOB FOR KING OF THE UNIVERSE.  Pass me a Kleenex, will you?

Marcy and Deni meet Curtis Stone and he cooks for them.  He also prepares the ladies a delicious, healthy lunch.  Also, Curtis Stone is not carved of fat-free cream cheese.  I said that before seeing him. Curtis Stone is full-fat Philadelphia cream cheese.

There’s also a challenge taking place while Curtis cooks but I couldn’t keep up with that.  I mean…Curtis Stone is Australian and has surfer hair and he made pan-seared halibut and I’m all, “WHY HAVE I NEVER WATCHED THIS SHOW UNTIL THIS YEAR?”  Congrats to Marcy for winning a two pound advantage at the next weigh-in.  And for getting to hug Chef Stone.  Was the made of stone, Marcy?  ‘Cause you know I’m going to ask it of you.

We find our Biggest Losers facing yet another challenge and Team Purple provides, as per usual, the soundbite of the night:  Hannah sees the row of big basins and hopes for a hot tub.   Who wouldn’t?  But Olivia, the voice of reason, reminds her, “It’s never a hot tub.”  This is logic that can be applied to life at many junctures, of course.  Y’all…sometimes it’s just never a hot tub.

The challenge commences and Hannah deems it, “Straight up Little House on the Prairie-style.”  Does this mean Jillian is Nellie Oleson?  Because Bob is totally Almanzo.  Sigh…”Manly.”

That's Hot!

Team Purple and Aqua work well together.  Heck, they’re all working well together.  Dr. Jack Shepherd was right:  live together, die alone.   Another challenge completed.  And then there’s predictable drama in the house (Jillian is OVER it and so are we…I’m sure Team Purple is over it, too!) and we move on to the last chance workout.  In which Jillian proceeds to literally walk all over Olivia and Hannah.  In this context I am OK with it.  Walk all over Team Purple, Jillian.  DO IT.

And then it’s weigh-in time and you lovely purple people, lose the same as you did last time, a whopping 6 lbs! Again also, the purple ladies lose the same exact amount, which is a bit insane. As Bob says, “Those sisters are insync!” However, they’re not the only ones who are insync. Some people brought their excessive drama to the weigh in–Team Purple brought their excessive awesome, as evidenced by their consistent shedding of pounds & their always positive attitudes.

The second elimination round goes by and there are no surprises. Those go, who wanted to go. Most importantly, the purple, “insync” sisters made it through another round and WE ALL REJOICE!