Dear Team Purple:
Jane – I must confess, I’ve called out for back up. I am still catching up with the past posts and still enjoying every minute of re-watching your show. But sometimes, you gotta call in the pinch hitter. Hence, Ms. (@_Freya, Meya) is taking over this evening and making my posting of tonight’s/last night’s show appear on time. #GOHER
The Biggest Loser Episode 9
A.K.A. The Importance of Family
A.K.A. Two Hours of Straight Crying
A.K.A. My Friend Olivia is HOT and I Want To Squeeze the HECK Out of Her
A.K.A. Find Me Someone Who is NOT Inspired by Hannah
A.K.A. Oliva + Ben = 4Ever
A.K.A Austin’s Friends are A-Holes
The subtitles never end with this one. I’ve been waiting for this episode forever. If you didn’t figure out the fact that these episodes were filmed months ago, then you haven’t watched enough reality TV. So I knew that the Biggest Loser contestants were home for two weeks around Christmas. I even got to chat with my girl Olivia online while she was at home, but I know she spent those two weeks spinning her ASS off. So it was good to see this episode.
When this episode began, I was finishing up watching RuPaul’s Drag Race. Oh, yes, I went there. That’s why I have the DVR. So my first question about this episode is why my DVR still has a picture of Sabrina The Teenage Witch’s aunt as the host of the show instead of the gorgeous Ali Sweeney? That’s just not right.
Of course, Ali Sweeney is bringing the “I’m bringing the PAIN” look at the beginning of the show. But instead of the usual “You’re going to be set loose in a raging river of chocolate being chased by piranhas and you need to swim a mile in under 10 minutes” she has GOOD NEWS! All the contestants are going home for two whole weeks!
Do we like the new Biggest Loser uniforms?
But then she drops the hammer—this isn’t a holiday, y’all. This is just your training ground for competing in a 5K when you get back! Have fun!
Olivia has some trepidation about her relationships. She knows that she’s made some big changes in her life, and wants to be supported and understood in all of her relationships. Pssh, girl, I could have told you you’ve got everyone on your side! No worries!
Then we get to see how great they look out of their sports bras and bike shorts and in real clothes instead! Mini-makeovers for everyone! Might I just say, first of all, Olivia is a HOT PIECE, and her hair looks fantastic. And Hannah is looking particularly hourglassy with some fab legs.
Every family and friend reunion is special, but of course Hannah and Olivia’s are the best. Their daddy makes me smile, a LOT. He says it’s like seeing a new Hannah. Everybody looks absolutely gobsmacked at Hannah’s hot new bod.
In between the sisters’ homecomings, I was especially touched by Arthur’s homecoming. He’s at his daughter’s school for his big reveal, and he tells about being afraid to take his daughter to school, not wanting to embarrass her. And his daughter held her head high, held his hand, and took him right into her school because she loves him. You can tell that he’s working hard to give her so many reasons to be proud.
Cut back to Olivia. If one thing is agreed among our friends, it is that she and Ben make marriage look GOOD. You can tell that they only have eyes for each other from the moment she walks in the room. And they are a sight for each other! Ben has lost 57 lbs since Olivia left for the Ranch. Of course my favorite bit is where Obird asks how much he’s lost, and he replies 57, and she crows “I lost 59! HA!” That’s my girl.
Yes, I found a pic of a girl in purple beating a boy at wrestling. #winner
More families loving on their Big Losers, then on to the commercials. As I fast-forward my DVR, I wonder: Why on earth is there a commercial for the Next Greatest Restaurant during the Biggest Loser? It just seems wrong to be talking about “grilled cheese for grown-ups” during a weight-loss show.
Courtney’s back at the DQ after the commercials, and is making the right choices. Arthur and Jesse have a heart-to-heart about the emotional roots of Arthur’s gain.
I’d like to diverge from the all-important topic of the Purps to talk about what major d-bags Austin’s friends are. Austin’s lost almost 100 lbs. He’s a pale as a fish’s belly, true, but a good guy, overall. His D & D buddies (I’m just assuming here) have all come out for a bowling party for his 21st birthday! Happy birthday, buddy! Here, here are cheese fries and cheesecake! Umm…a-holes. They all stand around gawping at him, almost daring him to take a bite. Offering him the first slice. Tempting him. How very supportive, friends! It almost has Austin believing that “I deserve a rest, don’t I?” It’s like a drug addict going back to his dealers for a party. One of his friends kind of mutters (after Austin holds strong & doesn’t eat the food) “I feel bad.” Yeah, you should, dickweed.
Moving on…and back to Astoria! Holla, Queens! Olivia takes the massive journey from her home neighborhood to Central Park for a little run with Ben. He’s always been a runner, and now she can join him! And I softly “squeeeeee” a little inside at their cuteness.
Kaylee continues to make me think that she’s totally ready to go home. She’s turning into a slip of a girl, and her take-charge attitude working out her family shows that she’s learned a lot.
Hannah was all over that court and in black. See Picture above.
Back in Nashy with Hannah, she faces the gym with her parents—specifically the volleyball court. After her sports-career ending injury, this is a challenge for her. She’s not getting into the groove very easily, and her doubts seem to be building up. Fortunately, some positive self-talk helps her out. She says “Give yourself a little credit, Hannah. Who cares if people are watching? Who cares if I mess up?” And once again she’s taking my heart by storm. I love that attitude! She gets her v-ball sass back, and even practices with her dad. Her relationship with her dad made me bawl again, as she says “It’s my favorite thing in the whole world when my dad is proud of me.” Yay, Daddy Curlee! We heart you.
Time to go back to the Ranch! They know about the 5k, but the stakes are news—it’s the same as their very first challenge—choose your trainers again! My first reaction is in all caps—THEY (Purple Team) HAVE TO STAY WITH BOB AND JILLIAN! I begin to panic a little. I know that working with Bob and Jillian has been key to their success so far, and they love those trainers with all their heart. So now I’m really rooting for them to be in the first seven finishers—those who decide their own fate.
We get a quick “Fitness Tip” with Bret and Kara. They make “taco muffins”. It reminds me again why I love Bob and Jillian. Kara looks like she’s going to vom up the taco muffin even as she says “so good!”
Justin and Rulon are dominating again. First to 1k, first to 2k. These are manual treadmills, and they kick people’s butts pretty fast. Sarah is dilly-dallying on the treadmill, because she’s decided she doesn’t want to choose. She wants to leave her fate up to…well, fate. She’s worked with all of the trainers, and feels like she could be with either team.
Lots of gratuitous steaming and sweating shots. Like, I felt I might need to towel down just from watching. Justin and Rulon finish first and second, then Kaylee in third, Jen in fourth, Austin in fifth, Marcie in sixth, and I SCREAMED when Olivia came in seventh (with the last position of control!). Hannah was close on her heels with eighth place.
The last place battle was the worst to watch. Arthur was working as hard as he could. He was pushing so hard. Sarah suddenly decides to care, and puts on the power, just edging out Arthur. He almost doesn’t finish, but his whole team pushes him to not be a quitter. Which is why I love team Black.
Can we talk about the weigh-in? About the fact that Bob and Jillian are both in LEATHUH? Like a couple of extras from Grease? Loving it. They are so badass. And Bob in the skinny tie—I die.
Bob and Jillian's next roles on NBC reality TV, GREASE LIVE!
The trainer choices are pretty predictable—until Jen comes out. Jen jumps ship from Bret and Kara to get Bob and Jillian back. Smart choice. Then Hannah comes out with a SHOCKER—she wants to train with Bret and Kara! Bob and Jillian look like they just got slapped in the face. But of course, it’s a fake-out—Hannah has her black sports bra on and isn’t going anywhere. Jillian’s reaction is classic: “I’m going to punch you out! Get in line! Not funny!” Oh, but it was, Jillian. It was HILARIOUS. Score one for Hannah!
Sarah is the deciding factor—if she chooses Black, Arthur will go to Red team, where he has no alliances. Biggest Loser pulls its usual cockblocking junk, and leaves us on a cliffhanger. Of course, this is where I run out of fast-forwarding time, and have to stick it out through the commercials to find out that, indeed, Sarah kicks Arthur over to the red team.
Black team kicks ASS on the weigh-in. Everyone makes double-digits, and Olivia’s 12 lb weight loss puts in her the glorious ONEderland! Under 200 lbs for our girl! I know she was in triple spin classes at NYC over the break, so she earned it! Hannah loses 11 lbs, too! For an all-girls team, they pull amazing numbers!
Then it’s Red team time, and I feel kind of disloyal at this point, because I kind of want them to lose more weight. Like Marcie, I feel torn, because Arthur needs to be on the Ranch so much! And if Red wins, they don’t have to get rid of him. But it is not meant to be. Ken, Moses, Kaylee and Justin only lose single digits. Ken and Austin both admit that being home was “stressful” (well, no doubt with your a-hole friends, Austin!). Arthur is shooting for immunity by being the biggest loser of the week, but he has to lose 18 lbs to make that happen. Unfortunately, he is 2 lbs short of that goal. Rulon is the biggest loser that week. (By the way, why is this the first episode in which I’ve noticed his cauliflower ear? I don’t think I’ll be able to look at anything else anymore.)
Again, Bob and Jillian react in a way that makes me love them more. While Arthur says that he’ll do his best at home, Jillian LOSES IT. She screams “Fight, PLEASE! We have fought for you to be here!” Bob pleads for Arthur, saying that it is not that important to play the game, when this is a matter of life and death for Arthur, that Arthur is exactly the person Biggest Loser was made for.
Dear Justin, This Pic's for you. Hugs, DTP
While Red team gives lip service to “thinking about” keeping Arthur, predictably, they stick by their alliances and vote him off. Justin’s speech about “I don’t feel like I can be the judge of who needs to be here the most” is absolute BULL. A professional just BEGGED for him to stay, saying it’s life and death! Can’t you SEE for yourself? Kaylee could go home, easily. Her weight-loss is slowing. But instead, they choose Arthur to go. And I’m angry.
Catching up with Arthur, we see him at 345 lbs! This is 300 lbs down from his highest weight, and he’s working out twice a day and eating healthfully. He is determined to win the at-home prize, and I wish him luck.
Previews for next week feature Hannah! So, I’m grabbing my tissues for next week, too!
Looking to invest in Kleenex Co.,
Freya
P.S. I’ve now lost 20lbs. #GOME -Jane
Tags: #BL11, 5Ks to run on a treadmill = Yugg, Asshole is an appropriate term sometimes, Ben & Olivia 4Eva, Biggest Loser, Bless Arthur, Bless Jesse, Bob & Jillian Musical Theater, Bob Harper is HOT perhaps we should call him HOTBob, Crying cry cry, Dairy Queen, GREASE LIGHTNING, Hannah is a LOSER, Olivia is a LOSER, Pinch Hitter = Freya Meya, Piranhas SUCK, Really?, Strange Treadmills, The LOD Miss Jane & Freya's Blog, Volley Ball not Bowl, We miss our Team Purple Ladies BAD, What show is this?
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